A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello there!I suppose this is quite to the point, but I literally feel nothing during sex.At first, sleeping with my boyfriend was painful. But that's normal and we've gotten through that, but never once has it been pleasurable.I'm getting quite resentful that he orgasms every time, but I get nothing.And yes, he does always 'warm me up' and I am always aroused and ready to have sex, but I get no pleasure from actual intercourse.Bless him, no matter what I say, he takes the blame for not pleasuring me but I don't think it's his fault at all.I just worry if it's normal? Is there something wrong with me? What can I/ he do to help?Silly as it seems, I'm just starting to feel like I'm not a functional woman and I'm desperate to feel the way he does when we have sex.Any help would be lovely!
View related questions:
orgasm Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, MonksDaBomb  +, writes (10 August 2012):
 There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Nature is just cruel to women that us women rarely orgasm just from penetration alone. That wonderful bud called the clit makes all the difference. Try to use a little vibrator on your clit while your man is in you?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2012): I had that problem with my first partner. At first it hurt, then it just felt annoying and not pleasurable. Have you tried being on top? I find that I get a lot more pleasure that way. I like either being on my knees and him laying down, or having him sit up and wrapping my legs around him. Thankfully my partner now doesn't mind being on the bottom, and sex with him was much better than with my first partner, who always wanted to do missionary.
...............................
A
male
reader, Makar  +, writes (10 August 2012):
 As I know, there is a type of women that don't get pleasure during sex. Not much you could then, but maybe you can do a research to see what internet can suggest on this cases (maybe some kamasutra exotics). Anyway, as long as you satisfy your parntner, you are doing good job)
...............................
A
male
reader, Htsn47 +, writes (10 August 2012):
 I'm no expert, and I'm sure women will chime in here. But most women have difficulty reaching orgasm from intercourse alone. It's not problem with you or your boyfriend - it's anatomy and biology.Some things to consider: do you masturbate? have you had an orgasm before - by yourself or at another time? do you know *how* to give yourself an orgasm? That's pretty important - if you don't know yourself, it's a bit unfair to expect your BF to know, right? He obviously cares about how you feel, so give him some help by learning what works and telling him!I'd suggest investing some time with yourself, and then with your BF before you have intercourse, where the focus is on your pleasure before you worry about his. That could be from oral sex (if you both are comfortable with that), his fingers, a vibrator, or a combination of the above. Once you've had an orgasm, you can have sex and he can have his - and everyone is happy!
...............................
A
female
reader, Pixigirl11 +, writes (10 August 2012):
 Can you feel anything from clitoral stimulation? Some women do not respond to penetration but can climax from external stimuli.
...............................
A
male
reader, Hector54 +, writes (10 August 2012):
 First ask yourself, do both of you understand your bodies? When making love the entire body is important. Good kissing is a precursor to good love making. The entire body should be explored. Do you both know where the clitoris is, the g-spot, the importance of sexual talk. Before you have intercourse, you should lead him to those areas where you enjoy being touched. He must use his hands and mouth to pleasure you. Take your time. Ensure he learns to help you orgasm before you ever have intercourse again. Remember, you play a vital role in your own orgasms. You must lead by talking to him gently. Teach him what you enjoy and in what order you enjoy it in. And remember, an orgasm and a climax are two different experiences. Good luck.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2012): Literally feeling nothing. I can relate to that. I find that the position you're in makes a big difference, so with a smaller partner I prefer doggy, for example.Have you tried different positions? The other thing - more important in terms of climaxing - is continuing with clitoral stimulation, so not just as foreplay but during sex. Either of you can do it. It works well with a spooning position, where he can reach around and do that during sex. Also,works with you on top. It's pretty much impossible with missionary position though. Give him positive feedback when it feels good - be a bit vocal. I'm not surprised that you're resentful if he is getting off each time and you are just frustrated. Like most things, it's a learning curve. Don't be afraid to suggest new things and experimnent a bit. You are learning together.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2012): First ask yourself, do you find him attractive? Is the foreplay long enough and intense enough to make you extremely excited? Does he know where your clitoris is? Does he understand where your g-spot is located? Answer these questions. Kissing and caressing is very important. The entire body should be explored. Take your time. Force him to take his time. Lead him gently to those areas where you feel the most pleasure. Instruct him. Ensure that he first pleasures you gently and then with more intensity. Do not attempt intercourse again until he can help you orgasm with his hands and mouth. This should help you. Learn what you need first, lead him, then take it from there. And remember a climax and an orgasm are two different things. Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, thenightmarebeforechristmas +, writes (10 August 2012):
 Ihave the same problem with my boyfriend and a lot of other women do too.I find that i orgasm from oral sex so you should get him to spend some time doing that because that also makes you very sensitive which can heighten pleasure during penetrative sex also try doggy style and rubbing you're clit as he thrusts, i have found this helps me reach orgasm as i also have trouble reaching climax during penetrative sex alone.i hope this helps :)
...............................
|
