New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login224799 questions, 977186 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

Is it normal to be jealous of your man watching porn?

Tagged as: Dating, Pornography, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 May 2008) 11 Answers - (Newest, 3 March 2010)
A female United States age 26-29, *omeone07 writes:

Hay qupid is it normal to be jealouse of your man watching porn? It seems to make me feel unwanted, i dont mind if he does it when im not around and dont let me know bout it but it makes me feel like he need somone prettier or im not pretty enought when he does it when im next to him and not enclouding me. just have been so emo right now feeling so ugly while my body is changing. gainging weight and those girls in porn are always pretty looking, somtime i feel like im going crazy cuz of all the stupid things i get mad about. is that normal?

View related questions: jealous, porn

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (3 March 2010):

Laura1318 agony auntMen watch porn because they want to learn and increase their sexual knowledge. There is no other better alternative way of learning for them to be good at it.

It is also for entertainment purposes but being addicted to it is a sickness ( OCD )

It is natural for girls to be jealous unless you understand what goes on in a man's mind. There are things you can't change in a man.

If you disallow it , it will only go underground. He is no more a small boy anymore and is matured enough to decide for himself.

<-- Rate this answer

A female reader, wha United States +, writes (3 March 2010):

yes, i think it is normal to feel this way at first, but it is also normal for a child to not want to share a toy too. we cannot accept all emotion as is without questioning it. that is to say that just because you feel a certain way, does not mean that that is the truth....there is always ego and motivation and past hurt involved. the fact is that most men and a lot of women watch porn...for a lot of different reasons. but get this, i just caught my boyfriend of 3 1/2 years watching porn today...and i knew he did from time to time when i wanted to get off quickly and i wasn't available, but it gets me crazy...i immediately feel like i'm not sexy enough, maybe he wants to be with a black woman, bigger breasts, etc.....here is the kicker...i watch porn too...and i watch girl on girl porn and like asian women, whatever. and i'm still trying to understand why i go into a frenzy because he indulges as well...probably less than i do. my point is that i hope someone out there reads this and understands whether you watch porn or do not, but your boyfriend does and it drives you crazy... there is hope for you... but you have to treat this like a drug addiction, because your brain is addicted to the "feeling" that you get from being jealous...oh i know it sucks, but so does meth and people are addicted to that too. it is not healthy...that is clear! your man loves you right, and would not cheat on you, correct. this is a natural thing for humans to be interested in other human's sexuality....really it is, so be aware of your ego...that voice inside, telling you that you feel soooo wronged, and step outside that box and know it is just a selfish, egoic hurt that is unwanted and ill-willed...it has no place and does you and the relationship no good. it is natural to look at other people and still be completely in love and faithful to the ONE you love. HONESTLY LADIES, love yourselves and check out a little porn yourselves...and see.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2008):

Lotusmama..... I never knew you was so wicked.... and why did it have to be glass? Did you really have to show him "everything" just to drive him mad.... LOL, you're a very wicked woman....LOL

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2008):

I don't mind if my GF watches porn. I don't care if she even likes porn guys with bigger dicks and better bodies than me. I just don't care. I just don't feel threatened by it.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2008):

Well, I just went through the porn discussion with my fiance. He went through a heavy porn phase before we met (I found loads of receipts). He was honest about it, which I think is cool. I don't get jealous of him being excited by the porn itself. I tend to think too much about the people in the porn and what it does to their lives. I lived in Vegas for years and met some people recovering from a variety of "professions." Well, long story short they paid a price for their work, often emotionally and mentally. I don't know if it applies to all adult industry workers, but I can't help but think about it. Anyhow, I am a "freak" because I take naughty pics of myself and send those my man when he is out of town. He has also taken naughty pics of me, and his laptop is full of my pics! (I hope no one steals it, lol!) We also go to adult stores and buy all sorts of fun toys, and sexy lingerie for me. I don't know if he still watches porn, but hell, he can pick up Maxim or any other mag and get some visual stimulation. So, what's the point of stressing? I am resigned that men will never stop looking. Condemning a man for his true nature will not help make things better! Relationships are about understanding each others needs and being able to be honest about fantasies without your mate freaking out.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008):

Yes it is completely normal to be jealous of your man watching porn. I threw his computer across the room in a fit of rage over it the other day after many many arguments over this subject.

He's still doing it.

I don't think anything changes, you have 2 options the way I see it.

Either ignore it and concentrate on the rest of your relationship, putting all jealousy aside and convincing yourself it is normal and trying to forget it, tell yourself you'll never think about it again because all it is doing is hurting you, or dump his sorry ass and find a man who doesn't watch porn, IF you can find one who doesn't, that is.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008):

Of course it's normal to be jealous! Men are visual beings blah blah blah. Do us girls care? Frankly, a lot of us don't. If he's in a relationship with us, who can get at us for marking our territory?

If you really don't like your guy watching porn then tell him. And if he decides he values porn over you? Then maybe he's just not ready for a relationship yet.

Good luck honey, and stick to your views! We can't sucumb (spelling? lol) to this porn-mad world! :D

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, lotus mama808 United States +, writes (28 May 2008):

lotus mama808 agony auntoh, I see, anon, so you even admit to not liking your girlfriend masterbating to porn! You'd kick me to the curb for it, so why should this girl not kick her man to the curb?! You justify it because males have more of a drive than females?!! Give me a break, I happen to enjoy porn too, and masterbation! I put it aside because I now have a partner to share it with. But if he still needs it, I will continue to enjoy sexiality with myself too. Dont sound like such a shovenist, just because you are man dosnt make it ok. Ladies can do it too, but thanks for proving my point, men wouldnt like to see us getting off to other men, any more than the other way around.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008):

What is it with women?

You could be the most gorgeous, sexually voracious woman on the planet and your guy will still watch porn.

Why? Because we are visual animals, we males, we like the way women look. And any guy that syas they don't is either gay or a liar.

The male sex drive functions extremely differently from that of the female. We men can get it up at any point during the day, we can't last as long as a woman can, but our drive is far more erratic and far more potnet I think.

We want sex so much more than a woman ever will and so the decent man will fire off some knuckle children instead of actualyl cheating. This is easier and faster with porn.

It is WOMEN who choose to see anything more into this than what it is.

Point of fact, the majority of guys don't two shits how big a woman's breasts are just that they make her look nice naked, so the big dildo thing is just a pathetic attempt at revenge and I would have explained all this and then dumped lotuc mama to the kerb for trying that bullshit trick.

Porn is nothing to be ashamed of, or even feared. You might try and watch it with him sometimes.

Flynn 24

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Shaunananana United States +, writes (28 May 2008):

I got extremely jealous when I caught my boy doing it. But you can always give him options around it. Talk to him. I talked to my boy and he quit cold turkey (So guys can quit). But you have to get his take on it. It's normal to get jealous for some girls and normal to just blow it off for others.

It's just your preference. I would talk to him about it though.

Good luck.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, lotus mama808 United States +, writes (28 May 2008):

lotus mama808 agony auntThis is a contravecial subject. On one side if the coin, It is completly normal, healthy and expected of guys to watch porn, masterbate to it ect. At least thats what my opinion was before I caught my partner masterbating to porn on his cell phone. I was beyond jealous, I felt like I had just been mentally cheated on. He fanticised about other women, and got off on them when I was perfectly willing and ready in bed. I felt ugly, like I just didnt cut it.

The thing is, it IS in fact normal and healthy, and after I thought about it I realized that I was wrong. This is something all guys do, or most anyway. But then, how do we deal with feeling like we just arnt enough for him? I delt with it by purchasing a glass dildo, that was larger than what my partner has to offer me, and I made sure to get caught masterbating to a delicious man over my phone. Let me tell you, he wasnt completly thrilled. I told him, "hey, it's normal, and healthy to masterbate over porn, right?" We talked about it after that, because he didnt like that stinging feeling, and we came to an agreement. Now, neither of us have to feel like we arnt doing it for eachother. It is normal, but it is also normal to feel jealous. Open up lines of communication, because it's hurting your feelings and ego. If that dosnt work, I'd invest in some hard core porn, with gorgeous men in it:) Good luck!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "Is it normal to be jealous of your man watching porn?"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.046875!