A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I am 11 years old and so is my best friend, we are in the same year 7 class and I've known her for 2 years (but we weren't best friends until we were in the same class). The thing is, I'm worried that I like her too much. you know, people have accused me of being homosexual quite a few times - I didn't used to think I am but now I'm not so sure, I just know that I'd be rejected by my friends if I ever told anyone, and I can't even talk to my mum about it. I've tried asking out boys I like but I can't pluck up the courage, but I am still attracted to boys and I am really confused about this all. Is it normal to be attracted to girls as well as boys? I mean, I don't fantasize about snogging my friends or anything but i just seem to be getting really close. ( I do dream about boys sometimes though.) I just want someone to explain this. Please.All the best and thank you for reading this.Jelly.
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male
reader, maneesh1003  +, writes (21 October 2008):
Dr jelly,its something very normal that you are going through even me have pass through this earlier. Its only your friends who are still kids and they wont understand this. At your age,you are starting to feel what is good and bad about people behaviour. Its because you feel very good with your friend that you have that aptitude towards him. And never care about people dear because people are always here to do things bad and make your life horrible.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI've chosen just to ignore it really, and I had a lot of fun at the easter disco so I am feeling a lot more confident of my sexuality. Thank you very much for your answers.
Jelly
xx
:D
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2008): If you think your attracted to girls as well as boys than i think i can help you. Do you ever find yourself taking a second glance at a girl or a boy? If so, you might do it because there appealing to your eyes. If you start talking negative about a girl or boy you dont really know to your friends than your most likley hiding your true feeling for them which is usually that you want them to like you. If you really think your attracted to girls and boys, than your friends should understand. Just tell them. There not good friends if they dont exept you for who you are.
Well, I hope that this helps you in the future and...GOOD LUCK!
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A
female
reader, iAintYourAunt  +, writes (16 February 2008):
 Hi Jelly, It may be you are too young to know yet. You could grow up to prefer either or both sexes. Let it happen and then you will know but as for now I don't think it's others business so why say anything. Your crush sounds natural. You may like both sexes, you may turn more to boys. I don't think that's up to you. And, I think discovering is just part of growing up.
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A
female
reader, korculan queen  +, writes (16 February 2008):
It is not wrong or right it's how you feel. Get yourself to the library or to a youth centre and discuss this with them. It sounds like you are bisexual. That is ok. I have had thoughts about women and have acted on them but I prefer a good male any day but I do apreciate the beauty of a woman's body. Is there someone you can talk to about this to help you understand. You are young and I do not like to advise young girls so the best I can suggest is gather as much information as you can on bisexuality and go to a counseller where you can discuss your feelings confidentially and without judgement. You are young but the important message is do not let other people's judgement of you define who you are. A sexual preference is just that. It does not make you who you are. It is just a label. I would not talk to your friend because she may react funny and tell 6 other people who then each tell 10 other people. You need to speak to someone confidentially.
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A
female
reader, hello1 +, writes (15 February 2008):
 You got pretty good advice. All I can add is if you are bisexual, I would keep it to yourself. I remember how harsh school is to certain people
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2008): It is normal to like boys and girls, dont listen to anyone who says it isnt normal. Lots of people like both sexes.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you.I felt a lot better after reading these!Jelly isn't my real name but my kid nick name's always been helly jelly.Cheers,Jelly
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A
male
reader, maverick +, writes (15 February 2008):
Hello Jelly (that's actually a pretty cool name),
Don't worry, it's ok to like boys and girls.
First of all there is nothing wrong with being attracted to boys, girls or both. In case you're wondering:
- Being a girl and liking other boys only is called being heterosexual. Liking a different gender from your own.
- Being a girl and liking other girls is called homosexuality, (more common as being lesbian). Liking the smae gernder as your own.
- Liking both guys and girls is called being bi-sexual.
Being attracted to the same sex actually happens at some level in all people. Psychologists say that there is a small part of everyone that is slightly homosexual, in that it allows us to develop better friendships with everyone.
From what you say, you have developed closely with your female friends and that is normal. Think about how you would want to treat a boyfriend? Would you be able to treat a girl in the same way? I have two very good guy friends, and we hug and pat each other on the back and are really close (people actually think we are gay) but we are very happy with our wives and girlfriends.
You are young, and I know it seems scary. Being at school the other kids won't be too forgiving towards anyone they think is homosexual or bi-sexual. If as you say, you are attracted to both boys and girl then, that would bi-sexual and that is a normal way for someone to be. Give it time and you may understand you feelings better following from your experiences and relationships.
If you like you can always talk to somone on Childline 0800 11 11 (its free) or go to www.childline.org.uk They will be happy to hear whatever you want to talk about and they will listen. You can also try to speak to your teachers.
If you have any thin else, please feel free to post a message again.
Please look after yourself.
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A
female
reader, kellyO +, writes (15 February 2008):
 Hi,
I wouldnt be worried if i were you. You are going through puberty now and your body is changing. You are also trying to figure out who you are and what you are about. It is perfectly normal and it is not time yet to make a sound conclusion yet. Enjoy your friends both girls and boys. Read/borrow books, magazines, dvds, video games, cds. Do all the fun stuff you like and enjoy.
There is nothing like being too close to a friend. I had a best friend when i was your age and i am always with her. We do everything and share secrets. Sleep in her bed and she stay over. We were inseperable and even people mistook our names.
Take life in each phase as it comes, no need to rush phases.
Lots of hugs
Kelly
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