A
female
age
41-50,
*ineire
writes:I really fancy this guy, i don't know him but he works in a local shop which i shop in a couple of times a week...but i find that some days i can't get him out of my head and then i have a few days when i can't be bothered and don't think about him…is this normal behaviour?
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2015): Well, you've made it a little more clear. You like the guy and you're too shy to approach him.
You've got to get up the nerve to strike-up some conversation; just to get his attention. Nothing wrong with admiring from afar; but I think you should try to get to know him.
If you get a chance, ask one of his co-workers if he has a girlfriend. If he hasn't noticed you as a regular customer, that may be the reason that he hasn't noticed you checking him out. If the thoughts come and go, you're just building the nerve to say something to him. More than likely, he'll wear-off. Say something to him and see if he tries to make the conversation linger. He has to be professional with patrons, but at least get his attention.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained!
A
female
reader, aineire +, writes (16 April 2015):
aineire is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you WiseOwl…for your wise words…I can confirm that he is about the same age as me… Also, I agree that I do fancy him but have hesitation on making a move ie..letting him know that I exist…as i think about him a lot and then other days am not as bothered.. (its this bit that leaves me confused) I don't stalk him or anything like that..its like an admiration from a distance..
IS the on/off feelings toward him normal when you don't know someone very well...in your opinion?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2015): It's normal for someone to whom you're attracted, to constantly come to mind. It's your mature-mind begging you to do something about your silly childish-crush. If it lasts too long, be concerned.
You're a mature woman, so you should have some reasonable control over your "girlish" behavior by now. You're old enough to act on your feelings. If the guy doesn't know you exist; and you are constantly obsessed with thoughts of him; maybe you need something constructive to keep your mind busy and stimulated. If he works in a shop, he's probably some years younger than you?
If you find it getting to the point of obsessive. You might need to seek some professional=counseling.
If you're not stalking him or anything irrational, you're okay. If you're feeling weird about it, maybe there is something wrong.
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