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Is it normal that a man can ejaculate without his penis being hard?

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Question - (18 December 2007) 11 Answers - (Newest, 6 June 2012)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Is it normal that a man can ejaculate without his penis being hard? My b/f lately has been having problems getting and keeping it up, and so we did it doggy style the last few nights, and it wasn't even up, it was still limp, so it was hard to get and keep it in, but then he gets off in like 10 seconds and that's not an exaggeration. What could be going on? I have kept trying b/c I want this problem to go away, but it hasn't.

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A male reader, sissycuckybaby United States +, writes (6 June 2012):

I spent years of my twenties trying to deal with both impotency and premature.

Ejaculation yet all it did was stress me an girls out. I tried every medication to help attenuate my tendency to cum even before penetration.

All the girls tried to be understanding and oral skills helped there but it made sex miserable. So as a dorky kid its not uncommon to have a nstural tendency to get off on humiliation and alike. So that's where I went off and on while taking time to still try to improve.

In fact up till a month ago I tried but first sexual encounter with a girl in years followed the exact same problem

So I decided to accept I cant fuck at all but I can kink out otherwise.

I'm still adjusting but getting comfy and hoping rather than baby such incidences for girls to vent rather than baby me.

Still I'm a girly guy. Cuckold sex is hot to me as are play and humiliation- like stop babying it

I know its ridiculous and sure girls are frustrated so damnable it be frustrated and I wont feel fake about the social peace.

Really wish I could offer better hope but just saying alternative lifestyles open doors. Do try to treat it but be ok either way and along the way.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2009):

Some times after 2 rounds of. Sex. I. Don't get fully..hard..and. I. Ejacuate. Also. If. I. Take zanax.

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A female reader, ctrygrl25 United States +, writes (21 March 2009):

I have been experiencing this with my boyfriend for almost two years. It is frustrating and upsetting. He can cum without getting hard. When he does get hard(very rarly)he then cannot cum. I hate it. I dont know what to do. I have tried to support him but now Im getting mad. When he finally got fully hard he said oh that was good. Im like no. I finally was enjoying it and you cannot finish. How upsetting. What do I do? He says he is enjoying it but never gets hard. I want a normal sex life and how do I get this with a soft penis all the time?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2008):

Yes, it is possible. It has happened to me on occasions, but only after a long period of abstinence. In that case, sometimes I get very sensitive, and the slightest touch can trigger an ejaculation, even if I'm not erect. It doesn't happen very often though.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2007):

It can happen if the man has ED (erectile dysfunction), but that is very rare in a man in his 20s. I am in my 60s and I occasionally am not completely hard, but can still ejaculate. However, it takes me as long or longer to get there in that condition. There have been cases of men in their 20s of having ED. In the Viagra trials for FDA approval, the ages of the men in the trials who had ED ranged from 19 to 87.

If he continues to have this problem he should consult a doctor about it to see if the problem is a physical one. There are various tests that a doctor can use to determine if the problem is physical. A urologist is usually consulted if tests need to be run. A GP could also prescribe Viagra, Levitra or Cialis to see if it solves the problem. If it does, then the problem is most likely physical.

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico + , writes (18 December 2007):

Danielepew agony auntI believe this man has some psychological issues to solve. You can see he can get stimulation, and he obviously enjoys sex with you. It's not that anything is the matter with you. Maybe he's too nervous. He does need to adress this, but, it's not anything unsolvable.

I assume your man is about your age. I don't think Viagra would help him with any physical condition, but perhaps it would give him the reassurance he needs.

In any case, I think you could tell him to just let it happen, and be patient. It will happen.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2007):

Yes it can happen and it's not unusual. Extreme mental stimulation can make it happen, like watching an erotic movie for instance. In your case I guess it was a combination of the erotic and the sensation of rubbing against you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2007):

Well the only thing I can think of is substance abuse. Does he use cocaine?? That can affect your impotence. If not, was he drunk or does he drink alot?? If he had been drinking that could affect your impotence too.

Find out though because even though its possible that it is normal for him, you should rule out any possibilities specifically substance abuse which is very addictive and bad for you and certainly you don't want to be dating a guy who makes a habit out of that.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2007):

That is not correct. It is possible to ejaculate without being erect. I am on this site because it happens to me... not during sex however. Mostly while using the bathroom to go number 2. what happens is that i go pee, then poop. then shortly after it feels like i have to pee again, but instead it is definitely semen that comes out. I'm not sure why this happens, but my guess is not enough masturbation. it typically happens on a night after getting "blue balls". i guess the body just needs to get rid of the excess to make room for the new stuff?

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A male reader, Samutsen Poland +, writes (18 December 2007):

Samutsen agony auntIt can happen and it happens.

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A male reader, jm81690 Canada +, writes (18 December 2007):

jm81690 agony auntYou're not supposed to be able to ejaculate when you're flacid, and he should be able to hold longer than 10 seconds, so he should definatley get it checked out, some viagra should help.

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