A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Ok all here goes. My husband masterbates alot. I do not know what anyone would consider excessive. But it is alot. I have asked him why he does it so much and he looks me straight in the face and says he doesn't know why. It isn't for the orgasm he says. He really just doesn't know why. Is that normal? Do other guys do the same thing? He will be 32 this year and this has been going on like this for about 5 or so years. Any ideas?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2008): Well, there are multiple reasons men masterbate. At the top of the list are probably orgasm, release, habit, and addiction. Release is where he has excessive semen production, and he just needs to get it out. Personally, I think these reasons may be related, but I don't know for sure. Have you thought about things you might do to increase your labido?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2008): I have a high sex drive and masturabe several times a week as my partner only feels like sex once or occasionally twice a week as otherwise I wouldn't cope. Maybe it is a similar situation.
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A
female
reader, Befuddled1  +, writes (5 September 2008):
 It releases a chemical in the brain that relaxes people and is apparently very addictive.This relieves stress. As long as he is still intimate with you I wouldn't worryx
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers + ♥, writes (5 September 2008):
Sounds like it's just a bad habit - like sucking his thumb or biting his nails.
Tell him you want him to stop as it's not nice to have him wandering round the house with his hand in his pants.
Then just smack his hand every time it goes down there.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2008): A lot of men masturbate out of general frustration - it is not even a sexual thing just for tension relief, If he is stressed or busy at work that can encourage excessive masturbation. My husband sits on the setee all night with his hand firmly down his pants and round his penis which appears to be a kind of comfort thing. Try talking to him about work or any other problems he may have especially financial which may cause him to be able to unburden himself and so therefore feel less like wanting to masturbate.
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A
female
reader, SugarCookie +, writes (5 September 2008):
My guess is that he just gets bored and plays with himself. It like how a toddler is. They get bored and touch their penises. I think some men just really do get bored and play with themselves a lot.If it makes you feel better my boyfriend said that one time he played with himself 8 times in one day because he had nothing better to do and just wanted to see how many times he could.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (5 September 2008):
 Hi,
you really have to tell us the magic number here otherwise it is hard to determine if there is in fact a problem.
I think masturbation is only a problem if it affects your sex life otherwise it is a healthy activity.
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A
female
reader, nellynelly1305 +, writes (5 September 2008):
 Hi there, I have the same problem with my boyfriend, so I do understand you. we make love every day (minimum once) he masturbates every morning whether i'm there or not awake or asleep (well I normaly wake up because of the bouncy bed) everytime i come back home, i find porn dvd inside the dvd player, porn sites, even porn mags hidden in the car, he even tells me that he does it whenever he's got time. If its normal? I dont think so (well not so often) but talking to him about it, he looks at me like i'm the abnormal to find it strange. One thing he does say whether its true or not is that he does it because it helps him to hold himself for longer when we are having sex. So, I know it's not much of a help, but YOU ARE NOT ALONE! :-)
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A
female
reader, princessjasmine +, writes (5 September 2008):
usually, with masturbation, its a lot about fantasy, u get to think up all these weird scenarios (does he watch porn?) and perhaps the orgasms are better wen its in a fantasy, someitmes it becomes more of a personal thing...maybe he can share his fantasies with u, maybe u 2 can spice up ur sex life so that he can enjoy u as his fantasy. Nothings wrong with him fantasizing, ur entitled to what makes u feel good, but he shud def control himself to not doing it THAT MUCH....and i think that cud happen if he shares the fantasies and make sex more interesting. And i say this to everyone, communication!!!!! talk about these concerns with him.
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A
female
reader, lexilou +, writes (5 September 2008):
 My husband masterbates in the shower all the time. It doesnt bother me as I masterbate too when he is at work and we still have sex 3-5 times a week as well. If it is not having an impact on your sex life then dont worry about it, it is a normal healthy part of life x
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A
male
reader, DoubleM + ♥, writes (5 September 2008):
 Well, "a lot" is a relative term, but if several times a week - that could be excessive in my opinion. It could possibly indicate that he has become addicted to pornography, which can begin to affect a couple's sex life if it hasn't already. If your sex life with your husband remains quite healthy, however, perhaps it is not much of a problem. If otherwise, it would indicate a problem in my opinion. Sometimes it just goes on for awhile, like a binge, but consistency over many years may indicate either the pornography addiction or perhaps some kind of depression or unhappiness.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  + ♥, writes (5 September 2008):
 I'm not sure if anyone who masturbates doesn't do it for the orgasm. Maybe, but I doubt it. I also think he knows quite well why he's been masturbating these five years of marriage. Something seems to be going on; masturbation might be just the way that becomes manifest.
It would be good to know how often he masturbates, particularly in relation to how often he has sex with you. Does he masturbate more often than he has sex with you? I don't need to know, really, but, if he does, then something is the serious matter.
I would suppose that a wife by his side would make him more interested in sex than in masturbation. Something is going on, like I said. I can't speak for everyone, but I think most men wouldn't do this.
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