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Is it my fault that he couldn't cum?

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 April 2010) 7 Answers - (Newest, 19 April 2010)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I've been dating a guy for a little over 3 months now.

2 months into the relationship, I gave him his first blowjob, but we had to stop before he finished because we had to go somewhere.

I tried again a month later, we were finally able to ensure a long time alone together so I started giving him a blowjob, teasing him a bit and stopping every once in a while to use my hand, teasing him mostly. but when i finally started giving him a complete blowjob, he couldnt come.

when he admitted he was close but he just couldnt seem to cum, i felt like it was my fault so i just kinda stopped.

anyone know why he might not have been able to cum?

View related questions: blow-job, teasing

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A male reader, Problem.helper United States +, writes (19 April 2010):

Problem.helper agony auntit's not your falut because most guys come quite quickly from blow job.

You can use different techniques like my girlfriend and than is problem for me not to cum.

It depends if he's circumsized and what's his size.

It's his problem but you need can help him get there if you use stuff no guy can resist.

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A male reader, Red Green 0289 United States +, writes (18 April 2010):

NO, it's NOT your fault, many men can't cum from a blow job. Some men don't even like them. You might be able to adapt your technique to get him there, but he needs to teach you what to do... it's not simply one mouth + one penis = orgasm...

Learn what turns his crank, how to use your mouth & MORE IMPORTANTLY your hands (plural) to lengthen the sensation of having his entire penis down your throat. This should be fun for you both- get him to assist you in learning! He'll LOVE it!

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (18 April 2010):

Laura1318 agony auntIt could be your fault and it could be his fault. Maybe, he masturbated too much or he was too self conscious of you and was not relax.

Better luck next time.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2010):

I don't cum through oral or manual stimulation from girlfriend and she does everything right. The thing with me is it takes a long time for me to come through those things and I don't expect my girlfriend to spend ages straining her neck or arm to make me cum. It's just as pleasurable without the climax.

She was like you at first about it until I explained the how great it was and that cumming wasn't important at all. I explained it was the same thing as her not having an orgasm every time we have sex, she does most of the time but not every time, it doesn't take away from the pleausre of the act itself.

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A male reader, DwayneC United States +, writes (18 April 2010):

DwayneC agony auntAsk him what feels good to him. This situation has happened to me before. I realized that a certain position brings different results. Try different way of doing giving a hand job or a blow job. To answer your question I doubt that anything is wrong with you. Once you understand what he likes and what is easy for you to do. He will cum just like you want him to.

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A male reader, LarryGalapagos United States +, writes (18 April 2010):

I am 26, and I usually don't cum when my girlfriend or past girlfriends have given me a blowjob. It was great watching her go down on me, but for some reason there just wasn't enough friction and physical sensation to get me to cum.

One time an ex did get me to cum, but she gave me a bj and hanjob for about 30 minutes straight in the morning. Maybe you can try that.

But, if you can't get him to cum from a bj, I wouldn't worry about it. There may not be anything wrong.

However, my number one recommendation here would be to talk to him about it. Three months is starting to get serious, and I would start getting comfortable talking to him about things that may be on your mind :)

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A male reader, Toushite United States +, writes (18 April 2010):

well for me being only 14 you probably wont take my word. so ill try.

I think he wasn't comfortable about it. maybe he was in an uncomfortable situation or place. did u ever do it to another guy or is it the first time? try using your toung with it swirling the tip if u can. make sure he wants it too. maybe he didnt really want it and messed up his mood. somtimes guys could take a long time to come sum can go up to fairly 30-40 minutes so maybe add more like playing with his testicles. another thing is maybe he didnt know where to cum. let him know if he cum into your mouth so he can be more comfortable. well hope it helps.

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