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Is it healthy for us to go out seperately?

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Question - (30 July 2007) 6 Answers - (Newest, 30 July 2007)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

my fiance says it is healthy for the both of us to go out alone with our friends.Is that true or not?

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A male reader, Wild Thaing Canada +, writes (30 July 2007):

Wild Thaing agony auntIn healthy, trusting relationships, guys' night out / girls' night out is generally not a problem.

Why do YOU think it is a problem? Please give us an honest answer so that we can provide our perspectives based on the best information.

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A female reader, Unique1 United States +, writes (30 July 2007):

Ocassionaly it is, but i am not sure how often he think is okay/healthy....My bf and i have always gone together...me and him, or us with my friends, or us with his friends. He knew i didnt like him going alone so we mostly went together. However, if he wanted to go to friends house or visit one of the boys once in a while (like 1-2 a month) i was okay with it....

I was never really okay with him having nights out with his boys because they are all single and wild out... he mostly understood that

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A female reader, BEEN THERE DONE IT United Kingdom +, writes (30 July 2007):

BEEN THERE DONE IT agony auntOf course its true babes,

A relationship is built on trust and as much as you love one another its still nice to have that odd break from one another, go out let ya hair down and have some chum fun...

Tell her to make arrangements with her friends and you do the same now and again it doesn't mean she doesn't love you she just needs her own space now and again and believe it or not so do you!!!!

Enjoy life babes grab every oppertunity that comes your way, life is too short !!!

Good luck babes

Love Donna xx

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A female reader, aphexinfinite United Kingdom +, writes (30 July 2007):

aphexinfinite agony auntsometimes going out with a friend from time to time is healthy gets you out of the house gives you both alone time to do what you want to without having to think oh he doesnt like to do this or she doesnt like this but i do and also its nice to see old faces, it doesnt mean you dont love each other that you dont spend every living moment with each other, when you have a partner youre friends shouldnt be at arms length they should be still as close as before its easy to forget them when youre enjoying the moment in love, my sister and her bf always have a day a week seeing friends or just having a day to them selves and their very much in love it works for them. hope this helps xxxx

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A male reader, Jamer70 United Kingdom +, writes (30 July 2007):

Jamer70 agony auntHes right in a way.

Sometimes its good to spend time apart with your own mates and get some breathing room from each other. Im not saying you have to hate each other, but just spend a little time apart can be good.

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A female reader, Basschick Australia +, writes (30 July 2007):

Basschick agony auntThat depends on what you're each doing while you guys are out with your friends. Initially, I'd say yes, it's okay for him to occassionally go out for a beer with the guys, or go fishing, hunting, or to a car race with a male buddy or two. It's okay for you to go for Apple-tini's with your gal-pals, or shopping, to a matinee or out for a day at the beauty salon with a couple of female friends. In fact it will probably keep your relationship alive and exciting, as long as neither of you are going to strip clubs, or hanging out in pick-up bars, flirting with, dancing with other people and otherwise acting like you're "unattached". That's where the danger will lie. As long as you do benign things with your friends it should be fine, just don't do it three times a week because what would be the point of being together if you're going to spend that much time away from each other. But maybe once or twice a month, is fine. You have to use your judgement, it's different for everyone I suppose.

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