A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,I am 22 and gay from Germany and its pretty late in the evening but my consience does not let me to go to the bed. I have a boyfriend more than a month now and everything was going perfect. I truely love him and he loves me too. He even invited to meet with his parents and family and we are really going serious. I love him dearly and truely but I made a mistake today. I met gay guy from my town just to be friends and meet while here is a very small town and not many young gay people. During his visit I and him both felted a very strong physical attraction and we jerked off each other. I couldnt kiss him and we did not truely have sex but he brought me to orgasm with jerking me off. It was not sex, no kissing or making up but I somehow cheated my boyfriend. Is it truelly a cheating?I dont know what to do. I dont want to lose him, I am in love with him but I did a huge mistake. How can I get over this situation? What should I do? I hate lieing or keeping it as a secret...I feel terribly sorry for this and I dont know what to do.Thanks a lot in advance.
View related questions:
kissing, orgasm Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, llifton  +, writes (26 February 2013):
 of course that's cheating. people do make mistakes, but what possessed you to do that?honestly, if you're in a relationship, you really had no business meeting up with some other random guy like that. that just sounds shady in itself. you're saying you had no idea that this was possibly going to happen by meeting him? i mean, you only have two options now:A. tell him and let him decide if he wants to stay with you. orB. keep it a secret and hope he doesn't find out.i'm all for 100% honesty in relationships. if it's something i'm not gonna want to tell my partner, it's NOT something i will allow myself to do. that's my rule. and i certainly don't put myself in situations where i think i will be remotely tempted.
A
female
reader, ihavetoomanythoughts  +, writes (26 February 2013):
 It's cheating. It's not something you would usually do with a friend or a stranger, it's usually only something you do with your partner. If you love and respect your partner you should tell him. If you don't and he eventually finds out, it'll be even more unlikely for him to forgive you.
...............................
A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (26 February 2013):
 Yes you did cheat. Imagine how you would read the situation if your boyfriend came home and told you what you had done... wouldn't you call it cheating?
There isn't a magical way of getting over this situation. It is called guilt and the reason why you have that is you know you've done wrong. This is the price we pay when we do something wrong that hurts (or will hurt) the one we love. Eventually time will cause the pain to ease but you'll always know that you betrayed your boyfriend.
It is up to you if you want to confess. It is likely the quickest route to forgiveness and easing your guilt but know that your boyfriend may decide to move on. Truth is noble though and your boyfriend does have the right to know.
However, I think you need to take some time and figure out why you did what you did. I am attracted to people all the time, but I don't have sex with them while in a relationship with someone else. There is a certain amount of restraint we take when we are in committed relationships. Do you really want to be with your boyfriend? Are you sexually satisfied with your boyfriend? Do you even want to be in a committed relationship?
Whatever your course of action is (suffering in silence or confessing) you should know the answers to the above questions. If you want to play the field, you should let your boyfriend know. That way you aren't cheating yourself AND you are not cheating your boyfriend of someone who is dedicated to pleasing you.
Eddie
...............................
A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (26 February 2013):
 You did cheat on your boyfriend, obviously. Come clean to him and let him decide whether he wants to continue a relationship with you. This secret will come out eventually so there's no need in hiding it. Your man deserves to know the truth, even if that costs you the relationship.
...............................
|
