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Is it appropriate if my boyfriend of a year visits a female friend who is currently studying overseas alone?

Tagged as: Friends, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 April 2014) 4 Answers - (Newest, 22 April 2014)
A female Germany age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Is it appropriate if my boyfriend of a year visits a female friend who is currently studying overseas alone? Frankly, I do not feel comfortable with this arrangement at all, even if they are good friends. He did not tell me where his accomodations would be, or what his itinerary was and the only thing I know is he would be going alone, to visit a female friend (whom I don't even know) who is also studying alone there. Are my feelings justified? Because I would never fly all the way to America just to visit a male friend. Fyi, both his and my financial status are the same. We are both studying and not working at the moment but we both have some savings.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2014):

It's OK to let him go. If he needs to sort 'something' out, let him. You should find out very shortly after the trip if everything is well in your relationship.

I was the traveller in my relationship, went to see a friend overseas, came back to my wife better off (did not cheat). Married for 12 years now, traveled after 6.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2014):

If they had been friends for years in person and she/he moved to a different country, I'd understand it and I'd have to trust him but, if they haven't, I can understand why you're peeved. Would you still be peeved if it was a guy he was going to see? Why or why not? Is it possible you just don't trust him alone with a woman, especially in a different country....?

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A female reader, Anonymous 123 Italy +, writes (20 April 2014):

Anonymous 123 agony auntNo way! Not cool at all! I don't care what kind of a "friend" this this, its not appropriate for him to visit her alone, that too in another continent!

Why did this even come up? Why are you not a part of his plans? And who is this friend who's so dear to him?

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A female reader, PeanutButter United States +, writes (20 April 2014):

PeanutButter agony auntThis is absolutely ridiculous, and you have a right not to feel comfortable with this idea, at all! It sure would set alarm bells ringing for sure!

It is one thing to go out for coffee with an old friend of any gender and something totally else to out of your way to see them and not speak a word of how you'll be doing it or where you will stay etc!

I'd get down to the bottom of this right now, you might be better off without!

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