A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I met this guy out recently and we just clicked. I went home with him, we were dancing for quite some time and I met his room mate. Soon things got heated, had a great time together. He was exceedingly affection, but in intimate ways, kissing my forehead. We were giggling about things together. One thing I noticed about him even though it was obviously mainly a sex driven "date" together, his behaviour did not change before, during or after sex till I left his house. He was very cuddly and cuddled me to sleep, even was happy kissing me a lot when I had morning breath. I mentioned the next day I had to probably leave and he walked me out of his house and waited till my uber came standing behind me and arms around me in a protective way. Later that day, he sent me a photo of a song I introduced him to that night (thanked me), thanked me for our time together and said he hopes to see me again soon.
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kissing, one night stand, roommate, sex drive Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (11 April 2018):
 It depends on what you want from this? I mean are you wanting a relationship? To date? To hook up? Just because he was nice to you doesn't mean he was not only interested in sex. Not all men kick you out of bed as soon as they get what they want.
If you are not wanting to end up having occasional sex with him then be clear from the start and see how it goes. You both may want two different things.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2018): Wiseowls freudian (thank God not his nephew??!) slip was informative and true :)
Slutty girls and boys don't have a chance in hell (even) and this was not a match made in heaven. For all you know he could be a drug addict or a bi-sexual and then the risk of disease is extremely high. If he let you know a bit about his life, apart from just a shag, then maybe you could work on that and hope that he did like you enough than to just use you as a park up!
But one night stands lead to sadness. You should always get to know the person 1st.
You never know how amazing s/he is???!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2018): {EDIT]:
I meant to say:
"All guys aren't dicks the next day."
"Like Honeypie suggests, keep a handle on accessibility to sex; because you could be on a lists of "go-to girls" who will put-out."
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2018): Not all one-night stands end on a horrible note, or are followed by a walk of shame. All guys are dicks the next day. Sometimes you do get a subsequent callback. It depends on the personalities of the two people involved. If you have chemistry to start with, that increases the probability of contact afterwards.
There are many caveats that should be considered. Make sure he doesn't get the idea that booty-calls are available on-demand. It was nice for an evening. As you described, one thing led to another. It was mutually-consensual, and well-established that there were no strings attached. If a number is offered, that was permission to contact. You gave him the option, and he took it.
Like Honeypie suggests, keep a handle on accessibility to sex, because you could be on a lists of "go-to girls" who will put-out. Meeting people in clubs is often ideal if you're looking for a chance-encounter or casual-sex. It's not the recommended place to find love; although you can never say never. The euphoria of hormones (i.e. oxytocin) will disguise "lust" as a love-connection. Stay sober and alert!
Just by the way you detailed practically every move from the night before to the next morning; anyone can tell you are hoping for something real, and this ONS was not your usual thing. It's by chance you met.
He said he hopes to see you again. That doesn't necessarily translate into we're now dating on a regular basis.
Stay level-headed.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2018): Careful. He may just want more sex from you. Maybe he liked it? Don't get too far gone until you know what his intentions are. What do YOU want? If you want a relationship, then don't have sex with him anymore. Be friends first. And see how it goes. But if you have sex with him again, he may just continue with those hook ups and want just the sex, and if your feelings are involved, you will be hurt. It is tough when beginning a relationship with SEX. You don't really know this guy. You don't know if you are compatible or a good match for each other. All you know is you had some chemistry and a good time. This is not enough for a long term relationship, nor not enough to determine if you would last in the long term. If you want just sex, then go for it. But women for the most part, will eventually want more. As someone who has gone through a FWB situation and fell in love, I would caution against it. There is nothing more painful to have to endure than falling in love with a man who will never be yours. Unfortunately for women, once we have sex, the guy could be a bad boy or asshole, and break our hearts. I think women need to be more careful before giving it up because the guy can end up being a jerk and when we have sex, oftentimes we bond with them, and don't see the person they really are til it's too late. Just saying to tread lightly and guard your heart.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (10 April 2018):
 Not all one-night-stands end up being a one-night-stand, some develop into more, while the majority doesn't.
So who knows where this will go?
Nothing really in your story "says" that he wants more. All it tells me is that he enjoyed your company, has manners and acted (mostly) respectful towards you.
Even if ALL he had wanted was sex doesn't mean that he would have kicked out out of bed after climax and ignored you. Maybe HE also enjoys a cuddle, affections and maybe he KNOWS being a DICK to a decent "lay" (pardon the term) will NOT get him a second roll in the hay.
If you two continue to see each other, have a few dates or outing in public that DOESN'T end up with sex at his or your place. GET to know him. HE is a stranger to you, and you to him, regardless of how intimate you have already been.
If you don't curb the access to sex on tap a little, it will end up as a f-buddy thing real fast.
He does seem interested, but in WHAT is hard to say for now. So just TAKE it slow.
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