A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am married for 7 years. Lately I shared some lesbian porn with my wife and my wife found out that it really turns me on. My wife after a day or two asks me if I would want her to become a lesbian, but with a condition that once she gets into girls she would no longer be turned on by me. I just want to know is it possible for a married woman to turn into a lesbian and then not getting turned on by her husband?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (17 September 2014):
 Um, no. People don't snap their fingers and then becomes a lesbian, or gay or straight.
If she wants women as well as you, she might be bi-curious - which means she COULD be a bisexual and CURIOUS about sex with a woman.
But if YOU have pleased her sexually over these last 7 years, I don't think sex will women would mean YOU no longer turn her on. To me it sounds like if you PUSH her to sex with a woman she will no longer have anything to do with you sexually.
However in her mind it can be that, she doesn't want to "straddle" a fence, sexually that is. One or the other.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2014): That's a strange question for her to ask? Why on earth would you want her to be a lesbian if that meant basically losing the part of the relationship that differentiates it from roommates or "good friends"? No, I don't think anyone can "become" a lesbian any more than a lesbian can "become" straight. People are what they are. Maybe she does have some tendencies (sexual orientation is on a continuum, with a person having more and more traits of "straight" or "gay". Imagine a number line, you don't just jump from 1 to 2, you have to pass over 1.001, 1.002 ... but you do it so fast you don't realize it. Anyway, she might have always found women (and men) attractive, but never thought of them sexually. Maybe she DID find woman sexual, but never admitted it to herself or just dismissed it as a "girl crush". I noticed a magnetic attraction to some girls (like if I got to physically close I felt like someone was holding two magnets close but not allowing them to touch). It scared me to death because I didn't like any guys that way and thought making out with guys was gross. I only dated guys anyway because I didn't KNOW any girls who liked girls (small town in the early 90s, VERY strict, over-sheltering parents who grounded me over a gum fine and refused to let me watch Roseanne). I thought I was gay and didn't realize until my early 30s that I was finally getting attracted to men. I was just a late bloomer and that attraction to girls? Turned out it was a girl crush and that I was just hungry to draw emotionally close to someone. I just ASSUMED I was gay.It's possible that your wife assumed she was straight, but it's more like she's bi or questioning her sexuality. She likes turning you on, but maybe there's something about woman-man sex that bothers her or messes her up.
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