A
female
age
18-21,
lilly_lex
writes:hi my boyfriend and i have been together about 10 months now and i recnetly saw that a few months ago he had commented on a girls myspace picture 'wow, your so hotttttttttt ;)' i was upset but mostly angre that he even looks at other girls.. is he wrong or am i over reacting?
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male
reader, hodynohandle  +, writes (17 July 2008):
 yea us guys will always look at women. you girls will always look at other guys. y exactly were you noticing that btw? were you spying a bit? cuz that would put you in the wrong. i mean, i had a girlfriend that would run up and hug/tackle other guys when i was with her. she did the ame with girls(she was bi). but it's not like i'm gonna tell her she can't hug her friends. that's rediculous. so i'm just saying that you need to let it slide
A
male
reader, Tsu +, writes (16 July 2008):
 lol you silly girl. Now, if this is a MATURE relationship, then it's perfectly ok. Looks aren't everything, and yes, believe it or not, there will be girls hotter than you. What ur tryin to do is tell him he can't look or think about prettier women? pfft good luck with that one. But instead of getting angry, just let it slide. It's better he views his opinions openly rather than keep them a secret from you.Cuz if he has to keep things secret, well that places misttrust in the relationship. And last I checked, who is he with? you or that girl? that's what I thought.And don't even try to say you've never looked at other guys and thought they were hot!!If you two have a strong relationship, you 2 can joke around like that. Only the most deep relationships can handle truth like that. For that means the relationship is far beyond looks, and that looks matter maybe 10%.
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A
female
reader, lilly_lex +, writes (16 July 2008):
lilly_lex is verified as being by the original poster of the question thanks you guys :) i just also wanted to point out he is 26 and i am 19. so he should know better. and be more matture.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2008): I would be upset over that too.
I would try to let it go, and not bring it up though, as it's not a huge deal.
But if it annoys you that much, and you want to talk to him about it, next time your with your b/f, and you see a hot guy, say "Wow that guy's hot!" and see what he says, and if he gets angry, bring up what he did.
Good luck.
xx
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A
female
reader, tonii +, writes (15 July 2008):
 hello i think you are over reacting abit its ok that ova girls look at him cause its not like his with them his with you and he wouldnt be with you if he liked some one else just try and trust him girls can look but not touch.
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A
female
reader, Kinky Boots +, writes (15 July 2008):
 You cannot stop a bloke from looking, that is for sure, they were born that way, cricked necks towards lovely girls, but let him know that it is totally unacceptable for him to make such comments. How would he like you commenting about guys in such a way?
*******
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A
female
reader, Fade878  +, writes (15 July 2008):
 Did he say it while you were together?
I think this is a case of miscommunicated expectations and differences on what is acceptable to say and do while dating.
Would you prefer he say it privately?
He is human like anyone else and we, being we are male or female, will see the opposite sex and find them attractive or desirable.
You have a valid reason to be upset. Most women and men expect total fidelity, which would include, refraining from acting on impluse and commmenting to another girl how hot she is.
He is going to look at other girls, no matter. What you seem afraid of, is if you can trust him to be faithful. Will he stray?
I think it is age appropriate of him to say that. Most young men in that age group are not prepared for long term relationships, and tend to go by the day by day thing.
Women mature faster in that, they are, by nature, designed to desire long term, marriage relationships.
I think telling him why it was upsetting, It hurt to read that, because it made me feel like you have it in you to stray/cheat, and I want to know if I can trust you to not hurt me like that? I understand men will look, women do too, but show me some respect and refrain from such practices. *then hug and kiss him*
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2008): You have a right to be upset, but he's a man and he's gonna think other girls are hot, they all do, doesn't mean he would choose her over you though. he looked but he didn't touch
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A
male
reader, doddster_24 +, writes (15 July 2008):
 hi,
i am a honest guy in a relationship!!, i would never dream of putting anything about anouther girl while im with someone, have a chat with him dont tell him your angry just upset, set a boundery here and now. that he has a second chance becouse you truely love him and that if he ever does it again u will be fineto.
he he says sorry even better .
tc
paul
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A
female
reader, louxxlouxx + ♥, writes (15 July 2008):
 He is definitely in the wrong, he shouldn't be saying things like that to other girls if he is in a relationship with you. You need to confront him about it and talk it out. If you are gonna stay with him then you have to establish some boundaries, as in he can't be going round telling other girls they are hot, he should only be thinking "wow" about you! Personally I don't think you would even be over reacting if you finished with him over it because if he is doing things like that it is just gonna knock your confidence. One of the key elements in a relationship is trust. All you gotta ask yourself is can you still trust him after this? Good luck with whatever you decide to do x
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A
female
reader, -NothingLasts4ever- +, writes (15 July 2008):
 He's in the wrong and you were right to be angry and annoyed at what he said. But you can't expect him not to look at other girls because that's just not right. It's like saying don't ever look at another boy again.
Everyone's allowed to look at other people but when it changes into what your boyfriend did, it changes to something bigger than just "looking".
xXx
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A
female
reader, jessica_04 +, writes (15 July 2008):
no your not over reacting. you have the right to be mad at your boyfriend, he shouldnt be talking to other girls like that! you should really talk to him and let him know how you feel
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A
female
reader, marieclaire  +, writes (15 July 2008):
 hell yes he's wrong. no way should he be saying things like that to other girls!! i don't know if its a splitting up offence but you should mention it and see what he says
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