A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I had been seeing this guy for a few months (he had a mad crush on me for nearly a year before we started to 'date') and we had an argument (he was pretty upset) and he said that we won't work if we were in a relationship because we aren't compatible because of who I 'am'... I asked him if he wants to remains friends and he said yeah. I left him to calm down and I deleted his number and tried to move on because I didn't think he'd want to talk to me again because of how bad the argument was and how upset and angry he seemed. We didn't speak for 3 days and he messaged me out of the blue saying bye (he is training to become a dentist and studies in a different country). I didn't know when he was going back at all that day, so I found it a bit strange. I didn't think we'd speak again. We spoke for a bit, and he messaged me after his flight complimenting my picture saying he 'loves my hair in it'. The thing is, I really like this guy so I'm not sure if I should try and start talking to him again? It was three days ago. Was he just being friendly or what? Should I message him first or leave it?
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2015): It's pretty hard to figure what could be going through his mind; if we don't know what the argument was about.
"Incompatible" is a strong word. For him to come right out and say it? I'd take him seriously, if he doesn't think it's going to work.
What really should concern you, is that he was upset and angry with you.
You agreed to friendship. So don't go thinking you'd persuade him otherwise; or hope you'll be so nice you can make him change his mind. All the trouble could be for nothing.
If you want more than friendship; take advantage of the fact that he has put distance between you, and move on.
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (18 April 2015):
 What was this HUGE fight about? You seem to have glossed that part over a bit... So I have to wonder.
But in general if someone tells you I don't think we ARE a good match, then let them go on their merry way. Don't CHANGE for them or expect them to change for you. If you find that you agree with him (that YOUR behavior is off) maybe it's something you can work on for future relationships.
I would leave it for now.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2015): I don't understand, then why message me at all?
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (18 April 2015):
 If he says you are incompatible you have to believe him. He might be interested in some cheap thrills or attention on an odd lonely night, but if you want something serious you can't count on him. You are reading into things hoping for more, which makes friendship hard.
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