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Is he scared to lose me?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 January 2012) 5 Answers - (Newest, 1 February 2012)
A female United States age 30-35, *_Mae93 writes:

my boyfriend and i have been broke up for 3 weeks now. the past two weeks. he has still wanted me around, to cuddle and do sex he said he wasn't using and he didn't want to be friends with benifits. the thing is he broke up with me cause he said he didnt want a relationship right now cause he couldn't focus on school. and that when he graduated then we could be together that would be in 4 months.. we have a 6 months daughter together. yesterday i told him that since he didn't want a relationship then he didn't want to be a parent and instead of us "being on a break" we should grow up fix the problems we have and be parents and a family or just let go and move on from each other. after i said that he said okay i still don't want a relationship. so i said well then i guess this is goodbye and the end of us i guess we will just never be together again. he said okay... then he said texted me back and asked if i could take him to work cause his car had a flat tire i took him to work i didn't talk to him the whole way there, i went and picked him up and i still didnt talk to him. then i read his status on facebook and it said " im scared and afraid but no matter what happend ill still be standing here" what does that mean ? is he talking about he's scared to lose me

View related questions: a break, broke up, facebook, move on, text

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (1 February 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntFacebook is crap. Ignore his posts. My ex husband is an attention whore on facebook and that sounds like what your ex is doing too.

Now WHY in the world if it’s over and done would you drive him to and from work?

Are you his maid?

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (1 February 2012):

chigirl agony auntHe writes some crappy clishè thing on facebook to et attention. How old is he? He sounds like a dramatic 16 year old. So what if he talks about you, clearly he isn't an adult, isn't interested in taking responsibility, and he lacks the ability to communicate. Instead of telling you what he means and how he feels he writes some self-pitying thing on facebook to get attention.

No, he probably misses you and the benefits of the relationship, but he told you twice, he doesn't want to be with you. So just take your part and walk away. Sure it sucks, but you can't force him to grow up when he isn't interested. Make sure he pays child support and takes his part of the responsibility in raising your child though, don't let him get off easy to leave all the hard work to you.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (31 January 2012):

Ciar agony auntScared to lose you? He gave you up! Not once, but twice. He was prepared to risk losing you to someone else while he focussed on studies. Then when given another chance to work things out and be a family he chose to be single. No, my dear, he is most definitely not scared to lose you.

He has what he wants from you now without the burden of a relationship. Someone to warm his bed and drive him to work when he has a flat tire. He just doesn't want to be obliged to offer anything in return.

Even if he were afraid of being alone, that is more about what someone can do for him rather than what he wants to give someone else.

Your family is you and your child. Make that your priority and leave him to fend for himself. You needn't worry about him. He'll always look out for number one.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2012):

No, it means you've been demoted from girlfriend to booty call and taxi driver. You should have just walked away when he broke up with you...now he knows you are too afraid to lose him, not the other way around.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2012):

He's using you

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