A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Very brief- The guy is mid 40s. We work together and used to get on really really well, flirting, he use to be my bodyguard, defensive protective and at times jealous. We had a big argument, i told him i didn't fancy him (rumours were going around) since then went downhill. Non stop fights, he went to managers about me and lied whilst would not let me go in terms of stop working with him.MONTHS later: we went to a party, he kissed every one on lips peck -our friends. Me, he said my name grabbed my hand, pulled me in and kissed my cheek so gently. And this week it's back at it, stares, flirting, i was walking he pretended he was going run me over. And we talk more now and yes i fancy him sooooo much but he never makes actual move.Today i texted him about a phone charger and he replied asking, "who is this?" He had my number from months ago so he had deleted it as he hasn't got a new phone. Why?! he did let me use his charger etc but why delete itIf he did like me then why not make a proper move?? What would you honestly do
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2013): 11muds11 i honestly do not know any more. Today we both made a effort for work-meetings etc and he knows i love seeing him in a suit he was tryign to move all trendy today to. Kept walking past me and i was sitting on a chair with my feet up on another and he joked that its like im on a bed(quite a tom boy) i said lets get some pillows.
But when i tried to talk to him alone.... he got defensive shut down, i just asked about a mutal friend and then i said are we ok, he replied harshly saying yes i;m ok. I said no i meant as colleague he said yeah and we walked away.
Really annoyed what is it with these games
A
male
reader, 11muds11  +, writes (11 November 2013):
I believe he deleted your number and is not making a move because likes you, but you shut him down. Especially with everything you describe.
Also, when there's such an age gap, you have to let him know that you like him. An older guy will usually wait till he gets the "come here" sign from a girl. Especially when you told him you didn't fancy him.
I actually think the OP is a real lucky time for you. What better time to make things up with no work pressure. Send him a card saying you'd like to visit him if that's OK. That will give him a big sign that you like him.
Hope this helps. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (10 November 2013):
 Yikes, too much drama!
Keep the work place professional and you will have less of those drama.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (9 November 2013):
 Ok you fancy him (lots) but do you really LIKE this guy? He's getting you involved with drama at work, going to your manager, etc.
A lot of people not liking him is a red flag. I think it's much better and safer for you to leave this as a 'crush' than try to pursue any sort of relationship with him.
Anyway I think he'll give you the brush off because, while he enjoys flirting, he doesn't want any trouble at work (hence going to the manager when you asked for a hug in a work rather than social setting).
Try to take his sick leave as a time to cool your emotions and detach yourself from all of this. I think he's playing games.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question11muds- basically what happened was we was co-working a case but after we had that arguement he changed. We argued more, he lied to a manager that i wasn't progressing the case. I asked to be taken of the case he kept saying no that he needed me to stay on it but whilst i was on it he was just being a pain!!!Got to a stage we had a big show down i began crying he said maybe we had got to close, slammed the door in my face and went to my manager after i told him i want to stop working on the case. I had tried for weeks to make up but i jsut had enough.One occasion at work outside i had asked for a hug i was really down- he went told a manager thissayign it made him feel uncomfortable. Yet we are out he hugs me. When we had the argument was because i told him people thought i fancied hgim and i didn;t- really i didn't want to get him into trouble as alot people don't like him!Daisy_daisy..i explained it wrong. Basically i'm walking down, hes driving up and he just pretends to move his car towards me a little. He meant no harm.I really really fancy him but after next week i won't see him for a few months due to leave and him being on sick leave- hes having a op.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (9 November 2013):
He probably didn't make a move because you said you didn't fancy him and had a big argument - that's probably when he deleted your number.
It could also because he realises that relationships between coworkers can get very tricky if/ when things go wrong. He may also be held back by the age difference.
I'd be freaked out if someone pretended to try and run me over. That's not flirty, it's odd. I'd leave him be, especially if he's a jealous type (jealousy is a red flag, not a compliment).
If I were you I'd leave it as a professional and civil working relationship and not encourage any more flirting.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2013): Thank you for your response i meant body guard as he use to protect me eg if some one was being nasty etc
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (9 November 2013):
 He's not making a move because you already shot him down that one time you said you weren't interested. And that's also probably why he deleted your number from his phone - because he was upset you didn't feel the same way back and didn't want it in there to remind him (although if he is your bodyguard, shouldn't he have your number?).
Anyway, I'm sure he is still interested. It definitely sounds like it. why don't you try to start dropping obvious hints about your feelings and give him more encouragement that he won't be shot down this time. He'll probably eventually get the point.
Or hell, just (wo)man up and tell him. That's always simple enough and straight to the point.
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A
male
reader, 11muds11 +, writes (9 November 2013):
Wow. I have to admit this story is confusing. What does this line mean: "he went to managers about me and lied whilst would not let me go in terms of stop working with him." Does that mean you got reprimanded but still have to work with each other? Or he lied that the two of you had any relationship at all? Or that he is managing you partly and you were not allowed to switch departments? Or something else?
If you can clear this up, I'd be happy to answer it for you, as I think it's obvious why he deleted your number and why he's not making a move. But I need to know what this line means.
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