A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:me and my bf had sex for the first time yesterday but he didn't cum. does that mean he's not attracted to me or i wasnt any good?
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male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (13 March 2008):
 Pay attention to the posting by "Yos," he hit the nail on the head. Many of us men do not get off the first time, in my case just nervous (46 years ago), and that's often the case. My bet is that when he is more comfortable (likely the very next time), all will be fine.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008): How long did this sex session last? In a different environment, things can sometimes be different than what is "normal". There have been different times in my life where I was not able to cum because things were different, but I attribute this to environment not to the partner or the associated feelings I had. Keep trying!
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A
male
reader, Yos  + ♥, writes (13 March 2008):
 No, it has nothing to do with you! There could be several reasons:
- He was nervous, and couldn't relax enough to orgasm. This is well known to happen to women (and stop them orgasming), but it happens to men too.
- He has not had sex for a while (if at all) and has masturbated a lot recently. Switching from his hand to you is a big change and can take some getting used to.
- Condoms can sometimes really lower the sensation for a guy and make it hard to orgasm.
- Possibly he's got issues around sex that make it hard for him to orgasm. These can be quite complex, to do with a strict upbringing or seeing sex as somehow 'wrong' or 'dirty'.
Whatever you do, don't see this as your failing! Rather, let him know that there is no problem between you, help him relax and let go more when having sex with you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008): Has nothing to do with you, it is him.
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