A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:he is very sweet and very confident in what he is doingvery helpful and goes that extra mile for me. looks like he cares for me and doesn't want to see me unhappy and he does his best to make me normal...even helps my boy friend, family etc.he smiles a lot , a lot... sometimes that close lipped one when i am with people and sometimes without showing teeth and sometimes even widely. he is a diff person when somebody is around and still diff when we are aloneteases me and pulls my leg light heartedlytries to be homoroushe mirrors my facial expressions a LOTused to make eye contact and now suddenly he can't meet my eyes... he looks through me, over me, lol and smiles looking here and there shyly... funny and cute. that makes me think that may be he has developed some interest in me... or may be he just found me silly and amusin?but returns my calls, all my texts and my messages onlinenever contacted me on his own though...is he my reliable friend? why is the change in eye contact? will I ever know what is in his mind?I don't understand men!
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know in the innermost recesses of my heart I want him and just him. I have never felt so strongly for anyone in my life so far and never have I thought about myself so selfishly. And sometimes I feel like I don't care if I can break my current relationship if this guy loves me. But I my sane self knows that it won't happen. Neither will I know his true feelings nor will I throw my partner away. Its just gross.
And the strangest thing is that I tried to get away from this man with all my strong self and fate threw me back to him for more. If I were able to get away I would have been in better control of the situation not needing to post here!
All I know is I am suffering.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2010): I have to commend you for being honest with your feelings about him. The best thing you can do, before you act on those feelings and take too many steps ahead with this guy, is to accept and understand that you'll have to choose now whether or not you want to throw your relationship with your current boyfriend out the window in trade for this other guy. It's not what this friend's feelings for you can do to end what you have with your boyfriend, but how you choose to deal with your own strong feelings for him.
He can tell you he's deeply in love with you, and you'll still have to choose whether or not it's worth losing your current boyfriend or not. Ask yourself now, before you talk to him about his feelings... are you still in love with your current boyfriend? Is it worth hurting and most likely permanently losing your existing boyfriend over him?
Really think and meditate on those questions, so you can see through the overwhelming and many times misguiding emotions many people have in this situation. Feelings have the power to draw you away from others who are closest to you, which isn't always a good thing. They can even lead to cheating through the idea that you're in love with someone else. Many people get tricked into thinking affairs, even if they're emotional only, are the way to deal with such temptation. Try viewing the same situation through studying and questioning, without letting your feelings overrun that process. This will alleviate any hype or hysteria about him which you may have interpretted as love.
The more you feel about him, the more you should question those feelings, and re-assess and compare what you have with your current boyfriend. I'm not saying to throw your feelings out the window for this other guy, but only to meditate on what is causing those feelings, and what feelings you have for your current boyfriend, before you even so much as care too much about what feelings are present between this other guy and yourself. In that way, you'll make the most rational and sensible decision, because your heart won't have any chance of deceiving you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI can't breathe with my feelings for him. I would be very unhappy if I finds out that all these I saw and felt were nothing. Because they simply can't be. It is too odd if a man can do all this and never claim to like a woman who behaved liked this to. Yeah, I love him. And you know it when you are in love. Even when I have nothing wrong going in my relationship. I wish he speaks to me without leaving me to writhe in my emotions.
What do I do with myself?
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2010): If you have a boyfriend, he's keeping safe distance so as to not cause any waves. I don't see him as a threat to your existing relationship with your boyfriend.. the only one who could choose to throw that away is yourself.
Here's why...He only takes what you give him, and keeps his guard up from any possible errors. For example, his not being able to look you in the eye is the same reason he doesn't text you first, and only responds.. he's staying in the friends zone and doesn't want to change things or make them awkward. He's deflecting your signals without hurting your feelings, and that's a good thing. He could be malicious and overstep his bounds as a friend, but instead he's letting you decide where you stand.
I have a feeling he really does like you more than just as a friend, whether he admits it to you or not, so I would just come right out and ask him what level his feelings are on. Try not to get distracted from what you have with your boyfriend and make any irrational decisions, if this friend says he feels strongly about you, deeper than friendship can provide. There's nothing wrong with finding out his true feelings though. I'm a big believer in honesty, and the more you know about the friends around you, the less they can ever hurt or deceive you.
My intention isn't to darken your perspective of this friend, but to remind you of your boyfriend everytime this guy shows you a sign or two. Only then can you choose the right paths, no matter how much he shows to like you.
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A
male
reader, LittleAlfie  +, writes (22 November 2010):
 Actually, this seems fairly simple. I do believe he has an interest in you. And since he's that rare breed of decent man, he will not act on it, knowing you're in a relationship.
What's most revealing about this is your insight to HIM. If I may be so bold, and I will, I believe YOU may be the one interested in him.
Where you go from that is up to you, but I daresay I am not wrong.
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