A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Why do I feel like this?? what is wrong with me:(?ive been seeing this guy..hes soo sweet,, hes like the first guy..that's actually treated me right..hes soo sweet and he says he loves me dearly..(he hasn't changed after we had sex..hes still the same sweet guy)but i have doubts cos i dont know why..but i think hes just saying he loves me just to get into my pants and that he never really loves me and hes sleeping around with lots of other girls.i tell him all the time.. that he doesn't love me.. and i want us to break..but he refuses to leave and swears on his love that he loves me and that he doesn't know how he can assure me..but tell me.i keep dreaming of him with other girls:(why do i feel like this?? what should I do?am 20 and hes 21thanks! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Blod +, writes (9 November 2010):
 This doesn't sound like a relationship problem. It's more of an issue with yourself which is stopping you from trusting this guy. Has anything happened in the past which has made trusting people difficult?
I think this guy sounds genuine. A lot of men would get annoyed if a girl constantly denied their love for her and wanted them to break up. This guy's showing that he's committed and really loves you. He wants to be with YOU! So there's definitely something going on here regarding yourself. Until you work out what that is and sort it, then I doubt you'll find much happiness. Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2010): Where has all this insecurety come from? Has he given you any reasons not to trust him? There could be a number of reasons why you feel like this. You could have self esteem issues and feel that it's not possible a guy would want you and only you. It could be something from your past, have you ever been cheated on before? As long as this guy hasn't given you any reason not to trust him i would give him the benefit of the doubt until his actions prove otherwise.
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A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (9 November 2010):
 Could be lots of things. You sound like you have trust issues. Maybe you were hurt in the past by someone who wasn't who they claimed to be. Maybe your gut instinct is right. Maybe you are trying to justify why you don't feel the same for him...
I think you need to look at this logically. How often do you see eachother? Do you have any evidence he is seeing other women? Do you have any reason to doubt what he says? How long have you been together?
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (9 November 2010):
You need to be looking at yourself here, quite quickly before you do push him away. Most guys who are after sex will have it, then make a run for it. They will not wait around for drama, insecurities and such. I know a few players, and if a woman kept suggesting to them that they were just using them and kept being insecure, those players would just run. Your guy hasn't run for it. He's stuck around and is really trying to make it work. But there will come a point where he will walk away because you don't trust him.
Sit down and really look at yourself. Why are you so insecure? Why are you so sure he's cheating? There are answers, and you need to find them, or your whole dating life will consist of you meeting great guys who you push away.
You need to be looking at yourself and your life here.
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