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Is he interested in me or just being nice?

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Question - (11 February 2010) 11 Answers - (Newest, 11 February 2010)
A female United States age 51-59, *oungatheart writes:

I have been going to a counselor for the past 2 years and can't ask him because he is the one I need advice about. About 2 months ago I developed an interest in him and there are some things he does that makes me wonder if he is interested also. He always makes eye contact to the point that I look away before I blush, He makes comments to me and if I do not respond he will ask if I heard him (example: I mentioned an ice storm coming and he commented by saying that all those gems out there will be beautiful(my first name is a gem name), when I didn't comment back he asked if I heard him). He has also lent me his snow sleds so that I could take my kids sledding and told me a good place to go. He notices little things like bandaids and earrings. Is this something or just him being a great counselor?

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A female reader, gcruz United States +, writes (11 February 2010):

gcruz agony auntI think he's just being nice ... I don't see major signs

My doctor caresses my face while looking in my eyes and also pinches my cheeks lol ODD but I don't think he's interested neither

But if u totally want something just call and ask him so you can save the in person awkwardness if he turns you down

Good luck lady !

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A female reader, youngatheart United States +, writes (11 February 2010):

youngatheart is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for all the replies and advice....I know the boundaries between patient and counselor are strict and he is very professional. He is a great counselor and has helped me a lot and I hate to have to start all over with a new one. I just want to be careful. Thanks again.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2010):

It's probably unethical to flirt with a patient.

Patients usually fall in love with their counsellors. It's natural. But if you think there is something else happening, and it distracts from the main purpose of seeing him, you may want to look at other counsellors or decide if you have had enough counselling.

Or stop seeing him by paying for his time :)

If there is something else brewing he'll bring it up once you stop being his patient.

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A female reader, mystiquek United States + , writes (11 February 2010):

mystiquek agony auntIt would appear that he might be interested but you realize that it would be highly unprofessional of him to seek a personal relationship with him while treating you. You are treading in murky water. I think it would be wise if you are truly interested in him personally, to find another counselor.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2010):

The indicators you describe are outside the counselor realm. Sounds like he is interested in you. If you like him back, you may want to ask him if he is interested in personal time, and ask how to compartmentalize the relationships, both business and personal. If he responds with disinterest in a personal relationship, forget all about your inquiry, and carry on.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2010):

Um.. He most likley does like you. Everyone who has ever liked me shows similar signs. They look deeply in your eyes notice earings clothes or something. Finding out if he was single would help. Maybe even pretend like your sad b/c your boyfriend broke up with you.

-Hope it helps

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2010):

Um.. He most likley does like you. Everyone who has ever liked me shows similar signs. They look deeply in your eyes notice earings clothes or something. Finding out if he was single would help. Maybe even pretend like your sad b/c your boyfriend broke up with you.

-Hope it helps

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2010):

Um.. He most likley does like you. Everyone who has ever liked me shows similar signs. They look deeply in your eyes notice earings clothes or something. Finding out if he was single would help. Maybe even pretend like your sad b/c your boyfriend broke up with you.

-Hope it helps

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A female reader, junebug81409 United States +, writes (11 February 2010):

None of my ever been that nice.if u truely like him then just give him little hints until u know like for sure bcuz u dont wanna mess up having a great counsler.it would be pretty werid if u told him and he said he didnt like u like that.i know i wouldnt want to go back!just give it time hon!good luck!!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2010):

Im not an expert but going into that field I would have to say that he is just probably being nice. Counselors are suppose to have a strict line between their patients and themselves. Where absolutely no relationship should occur. If he really does like you than he is breaking the rules.

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A male reader, hameleon89 Denmark +, writes (11 February 2010):

hameleon89 agony auntIt's risky, i think he is just beeing professional and kind.And second: if he was interessted he would propose you a cup of cofee long time ago.And if you do think that he likes you, try asking him for a cup of cofee, but in a joke way: if he will ask you how have you been, you can answer "lately not so much don't have a nice company to go for a cup of cofee in town" .Hope you find your asnwer:)

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