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Is he interested in me?? He sure has been attentive.Or is he being a great salesperson?

Tagged as: Crushes, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 July 2016) 2 Answers - (Newest, 10 July 2016)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Hi everyone!

I need some advice on whether you think this guy I know is interested in me or not.

I'll try and lay out the whole situation honestly so you can get a feel for it!

So at the end of April I went to a cosmetics store, the one local to me, and if any of you went there you would know the staff are really friendly. They talk to you for ages and give you lots of advice on their products etc.

I was approached by a male member of staff who was being really nice and helpful and who helped me pick out a facial cleanser. Even though he was helping me to buy a product he was also being really talkative and asking questions about myself and telling me lots about him. I ended up staying in the shop for over an hour talking to this one guy and even after I paid for my face cleanser we kept talking.

Anyway, before I left he told me to come back next week (I had taken away some samples of products and he told me to come back if I liked any to buy).

Even after only meeting him once I felt we had hit it off so thought I would go back, talk to him again and then maybe he would ask me out for a drink or something. I went back the following week but unfortunately he wasn't there on the day I went, and then I went back to university so that was the end of that.

When I came back from university at the beginning of June I went into the store and he was there!

I actually first spoke to a different member of staff because I needed a top up of my face cleanser but after I got that he approached me and spoke to me, and he remembered who I was from before.

I spent probably another 45 minutes in the store talking to him and he gave me 6 samples of different products (was he being a good employee or being particularly nice to me?)

He also showed me everything in the shop and tested lots of different products with me.

Again not sure whether he was just being a good employee or whether he was interested.

When I left this time I felt a little deflated because although he was really friendly and chatty like last time he didn't ask for my number or anything.

Anyway, last weekend I went back again basically just to see if he was there although I obviously didn't tell him that. Luckily he was there again and we talked a lot like before, mostly personal stuff rather than about the Lush products.

He was just asking me a question about my family when another customer approached him so he quickly said goodbye and he hoped I had a good day and that was the last time I saw him.

Am I just thinking too much into someone who is naturally friendly and works in an environment where this is encouraged?

I don't want to show up at his work again looking like a stalker or anything but I am genuinely interested in dating him. I just don't know if I'm reading the signs right.

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A female reader, Deeksha India +, writes (10 July 2016):

Deeksha agony auntI guess you should ask him out. We talk so much woman equality and feminism. Don't you think we should also have a step put forward in this regard. Go to him the next weekend. And ask for his number by some means. And make sure he talks to you. May be you could text him and if you still find him being considerate about you then go ahead with that.

Ask him. Why wait for the guy to put the first step forward. Be hopeful but expect noting. Be ready for the worse that he might just be doing his job or he might already be in a relationship or the worst he might be gay. You never know what life brings to you. But do take the initiative. And remember "Be hopeful but expect nothing"!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2016):

You are a young woman. I am not sure how much confidence you have to make a bold move. But at my age, which is late 40's, I have been there and done that. And I would have no problem going after a guy I liked. I did with my current boyfriend and it all worked out! Lol ;) I would have absolutely no problem going back and asking him when his shift ends and if he'd like to go for coffee. Or say you really enjoy talking to him and would he like to go for coffee sometime. Keep it light and friendly. You would then gauge his reaction and that will give you an answer on how to move forward... or not.

It is really difficult to tell if he is interested. He seems to be a very good salesperson who is also very good with people in general. And he seems to like you. But it is a hard call either way.

You can continue to speculate forever. But you will never know until you take the plunge.

I suspect he would not be asking you out on work time. He may feel he is crossing boundaries which should not be crossed or fear losing his job. So, he may be towing the line.

You have nothing to lose. If he says yes, that's great. If not, then at least you tried. But be prepared to find yourself another store. Unless you can handle going back under the circumstances.

Good luck.

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