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Is he in love with me? or was I just a cheap feel?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 March 2012) 5 Answers - (Newest, 1 April 2012)
A female Canada age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I've liked this guy for a while, and sometimes I feel like he's making moves on me. Yet, I'm not sure whether those moves are fueled by his possible actual attraction to me or whether he just wanted a cheap feel. As bad as it sounds, I don't mind him touching me because I do like him, but I don't want to be a piece of meat to him :(

He's my friend's ex, and I didn't start to know him until they've broken up for a few months. He's really comfortable with girls in general, so I don't know whether what he does to me is just him being is natural self either. The first time he seemed to express an interest in me was when we were watching a romance movie as a group. We were both on a bed but there wasn't enough room, so half-way through he positioned himself so that I sat between his legs and was lying on his back. Whenever I asked him whether he was uncomfortable, he would pull me back onto him, and he basically held me for the entire 2 hr movie. Another time I was on his bed, and he pulled me into him and tried to teach me how to play this game on my iPhone; he also insisted on transferring his apps onto mine.

The second time he was a lot more physical than usual. It was his birthday, and he hugged me from behind when he saw me and rested his head on me in front of his friends. While we were waiting for the bus, I got tired and asked him if I could sit on him (I only half-sat on his thigh). He pulls me onto him and wraps his arms around my waist and puts his head on my shoulder. I told him I could get off if I'm too heavy, and he kind of hugs me harder and says I'm really light. He kept on re-adjusting his pants the entire time, and I think he got a hard-on when I sat on him. When the bus arrives, I got a seat while he stood, even though there were more seats in the back. After a few minutes, he told me to get off my seat and sit on him. Again, he put his arms around my waist and told me he didn't "want me to fall off." His friends kept on giving me strange looks along the way :( At the end of the day, he tried to hold my hand in a non-obvious way, if it makes sense. As in, he tried to grab it, but really shyly, and when I asked him about it, he quickly stopped holding my hand and told everybody to hold hands instead. I realize I look more attractive than usual that day, but I'm not sure whether this actions towards me are due to attraction or whether he thought I was cheap. I really don't want to be seen as a piece of meat as him, but I find it so hard to resist him. We're both Asian, so stuff like lap-sitting isn't as open. And if he does like me, what should I do about it? I don't want to make the first move, but I don't know how to respond in a way that tells him I like him back.

Somebody please give me some insight :( I'm really conflicted right now about the entire situation.

View related questions: cheap, shy

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2012):

He's really interested in u,he's not just after sex.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2012):

when a guy gets too physical with you before officially being your boyfriend it usually means he's just after sex.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2012):

Hi, I am the original poster. With regards to the above comment, we do talk outside of those times when he touches me like that. It's like he's either doesn't touch me completely that day and just talks to me, or he's like how I've described him before and doesn't say much. One time he asked me to lunch with him; he was very affectionate through text, but didn't actually say much while we were eating together. However, he kept on flaunting about how much his father makes while we were eating. I'm not sure if these signs were important so I left them out. Thank you for all your comments so far :)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2012):

Does he call you? Does he ask you out? Does he want to know everything about you? This is the sign a guy is interested in you romantically. What you've described is a guy who is only interested in one thing and what is special about you is that you respond to him, that's it.

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A female reader, shrodingerscat United States +, writes (31 March 2012):

shrodingerscat agony auntYou don't have to make the first move. He already has, with all his affectionate physical contact.

I think he likes you a lot, and would like to date you. If he was just after sex with you, I think he would have been a lot more aggressive, touching you in inappropriate places rather than just hugging you or leaning against you.

He sounds like a really nice person, actually. You should ask him to come to lunch with you. Be brave, you can do it.

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