A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Asked a guy out by text as said i couldn't ask him face to face as i could never get him alone.He didn't reply but approach me and said he hadn't ignored my texts but never mentioned going out.Was this my opportunity to ask him???It seems for the last month he seems to be making a point of coming to talk to me, is he hoping i might ask him out or trying to pluck up the courage to ask me????He doesn't really make much conversation with people, and is the shy quiet type. he gives off the vibe he likes me but not all the time.Any suggestions would be great???
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female
reader, Ask oldersister  + ♥, writes (6 August 2009):
 I really wouldn't have asked him out by text- surely you two can have a conversation alone? I'd say the ball is in his court but you can always encourage him by subtly flirting and letting him know you would be receptive to getting together like over something casual...coffee or lunch. If he's shy, that will be non-threatening.
The thing is, he may like you, but he is unable to even bring up the fact that you asked him out? There's shy and then there's being a "man" about things- you put forth all the effort with this guy and that will set the pace for the rest of your dealings with him. Let him risk a little, step up to the plate if he likes you. In the meantime, date other guys and don't do his work for him. He's an adult male, he can ask you out.
A
female
reader, Irish49  + ♥, writes (6 August 2009):
 Well, if he saw that text message , he was rather rude not to respond through a reply or in person when he saw you, wasn't he? We are not talking about a awkward adolescent kid here. This is an mature, adult male so why the game? However, did he even see that message, about dating? Did you send him other messages, aside from this one? If so, there's nothing wrong with inquiring if he's up for the 'date' only because you found out he may have not seen 'that' particular message. But if it was the only message you sent him and he confirmed he saw it, then I keep thinking here if you have to approach the topic again, then I keep wondering that if he wanted the date, you wouldn't need to re-ask. If it were me, I wouldn't bother and just learn not to let things drag on with someone who doesn't have those feelings which add up to dating. You sent him the ice breaker-if he wants to date you, make him work for you. Why-because..you are an awesome catch. In the meantime, a smart girl always keeps her other options open. Good luck.
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