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Is he hiding something? Is he only trying to make me jealous that he has a girlfriend? Does he EVEN got back with her? What is he aiming for?

Tagged as: Crushes, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 January 2018) 2 Answers - (Newest, 28 January 2018)
A female United States age 26-29, *asandrandros writes:

I've known this guy for about 2 months. We talk everyday all day Mon stop. When we first met he was single, and then he started to flirt and trying to take it into a relationship. I don't want a relationship with anyone right now, and he knows it. Well, he got back with his ex, but he told me that they aren't the same as before, his love for her isn't the same. I was suspicious. He still talks to me all day and everyday. He gets jealous when i go out with my guy friends and keeps asking me what i did with them , if they are in a relationship, and asks if i have feelings for any of my guy friends. He always tells me that i should open my heart for a new relationship, and asks me what my perfect man is, how i want him to be, and tells me if i have feelings towards any guy. He sometimes backs off a little and tells me "My friend" when he sees that i curved him, but then gets back again after a few days. I'm not sure a guy in a relationship can do this to his girlfriend. I told him that he should tell his gf that he talks to me because i don't want problems, he said that he DID tell her. And im not sure a girl can let his bf do all these stuff to another girl. Is he hiding something? Is he only trying to make me jealous that he has a girlfriend? Does he EVEN got back with her? What is he aiming for?

View related questions: flirt, has a girlfriend, his ex, jealous

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A female reader, 02DuszJ United Kingdom +, writes (28 January 2018):

02DuszJ agony auntI agree with Honeypie- not only has he said he's not even SURE about his ex/gf, he's spending all his time messaging another girl? He is using her and lying to her and keeping you close! Not ok behaviour.. is this the signs a guy treats girls well?

I think cut him off.. ignore his messages and get on with other things in your life.. it's been 2 months and you've already seen some pretty murky true colours in him.. and come on, whether you want to be you're playing bunny boiler here slightly. He's treating her badly and you're assisting him with that.. you know better! If it was me I would give his gf a heads up to the fact that he doesn't leave you alone. I feel she deserves to know

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (28 January 2018):

Honeypie agony auntDoes it REALLY matter?

You don't want a relationship so what's the deal?

He makes the choices to talk to you as much as he does, instead of thinking WHY he does it, maybe you need to take a few notes here. You say :"I'm not sure a guy in a relationship can do this to his girlfriend" but YOU still keep talking to him. He is hoping to take things further with you so he KEEPS talking to you until you (in his eyes) decides to TRY dating him. So you think all his "He always tells me that i should open my heart for a new relationship" is because he wants you to date OTHER guys? No, he wants a go at you. And I don't think it's because he CARES deeply for you. you are a challenge and he likes to "win".

He is keeping you SWEET on the side, in case the ex-now GF again leaves. Just in case, it's always nice having a spare.

You ask why anyone would do this to their GF and why ANY GF would "allow it". Well, you ONLY has his word that he told her. And it's NOT her job as a GF to check his phone and see who he talks to, or to dictate whom he can talk to. As for WHY he would do this to his GF... the answer is BECAUSE he can and because YOU keep talking to him too. Even if you are single you KNOW he is seeing someone and it isn't stopping YOU from continuing so why should he ? (his logic).

As for, did he REALLY get back with his ex? WHY do you care? You don't want to date, remember? So THAT is really none of your business. UNLESS you don't want to be "talking" to a guy who has a GF.

My question to you is, if you don't WANT a relationship right now, why are you investing SO much time in this fella? Who isn't a GOOD or GREAT BF to his existing GF.

He is NOT your friend and you are NOT friends.

You are using him as much as HE is using you.

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