A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I've been seeing this guy for almost two and a half years(I'm older by two years and divorced with a son). One week after being together he said this reltionship wasn't going to work out.Nevertheless he kept loving me ,and calling me consistently. I loved him too. I kept asking him why and he just didn't have an answer. This drama has continued now for two and a half years and we have broken up atleast thirty times only to get back together. He always wants to end it andi don't. Yet he remains lovey dovey and because I love him I keep going back to him. He's a fine guy,from an ivy league and has had girlfriends all his life. But never a relationship over a year. His father is rumored to be gay but I have no clue. This guy is very neat and clean,he's fshionable,he is meticulous and even runs a womens clothing business. He's soft spoken but very moody. He enjoys anal sex but does go down as well. He has a slight sway in his hips. I asked him if he was gay based on his inconsistent behaviour with me. He said he's heard that before but was annoyed with me for considering that. Recently I heard that his earliest girlfriends suspected he was gay. But before I came along he did want to marry a european girl. We are muslims in a muslim country. He has become irritable and short tempered with me. I don't see how I'm going wrong?Is he gay?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Nasey  +, writes (1 March 2011):
Sister, I see your realtionship with this man is going nowhere, and I think you are feeling it deep in your heart.
Regardless of being a gay, which obviously he is, he is not ready/serious about committment. You mentioned that you broke up 30 times in two and half years, how long do you think your marriage will last if it happened at all??
Why exposing your son to a gay man that would be his role model?
How can you face the our strict society (I am from the middle-east too) with at least a sissy if not gay husband?
One last point, check if he served the selective period in the army (which is mandatory for everyone except the gays).
May Allah bless and protect you and your family
A
female
reader, Gridrebel +, writes (28 January 2010):
 It is of no value to know whether he is gay or not. The outcome will be the same either way. He won't be with you. What is it about you that would put up with such bad treatment from someone? Instead of enabling his bad behavior, why not put some distance between you two and work on providing a good home for your child and choosing a partner who has the same values and priorities as you do? I am not trying to be rude but I thought muslims had very strict rules about sexual relations and unmarried partners. Is this not true? Just curious.
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