A
female
age
16-17,
anonymous
writes:I'm having a few problems with a teacher of mine.I am 17, he is much older and married. I like him very much but I have difficulty understanding his feelings for me. He can be very kind and thoughtful and very complimentary; he has at times given me chances (to hand in work late etc..) that he wouldn't give other people and he will do favours for me if it will make me happy. He calls me things such as 'lovely lady' and says i am 'mysterious' and treats me with a great deal of respect and devotion. I feel like a grown woman when i am with him and he makes me feel beautiful, interesting and perfect. He stares at me alot and sometimes when we are sat together he might go quiet and start looking at my mouth, then lean in as if to kiss me.. but then the moment passes. He will get cross if i am not well and dont want to see a doctor and he takes interest in every aspect of my life, (He knows alot about me as a result). He was also very cross when he found out i had a boyfriend. From this I thought he might have feelings for me.However, there are moments every 3-4 months where he will do something, bizarre and even daring. His first action was not that discomforting, he merely pressed his body against mine whilst i was sat next to him. Since that his actions have gotten gradually worse (That first act was 2 1/2 years ago). 2 months ago he touched my breasts. Over the past 2 years he has at some point touched my; waist, shoulders, hands, arms, back, legs, bum and breasts. I'm not really sure how to take this. I feel sometimes as if alot of his actions are calculated as if to see my reaction to them and due to this I feel sometimes like he wants to control me.I am not really sure what to make of his feelings. I would like to know whether he is falling in love with me, or whether he only desires me sexually. I can not tell.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2008): hun, he knows you like him, so he's is taking advantage of you.
A
female
reader, green-eyed-girl +, writes (18 May 2008):
babe,
i understand if you like him and all. im crazy over a teacher of mine, i really am. i also have a 'crush' over one of his collegues. he is a bit of a flirt, got to know him really well after a week long school trip, he would talk about very perverted stuff and talk alot about sex, whilst we were swimming he would pick me up and chuck me on numerous occassions, he also asked me to sit on his shoulder whilst in the pool. i was stupid enough to fall for him in a way, i find him very cute and approachable because he is so flirty and very funny, but i think the real reason i like him is because i lust for him. this feeling is so completely different to the feeling i have for the teacher ive been crazy over for years.
now this guy is married too, to be honest theres nothing really wrong with a bit of harmless flirting right? but as much as you like it and enjoy it, we have got to look at the situation, youre a young girl and he is married therefore he supposedly only gets action with his wife, its only natural for him to want more, to want something he shouldnt have. like us girls having crushes on teahers, thats only natural. maybe its just natural for a teaher to have a crush on a pupil, they spend most of their time around us, afterall a job is only a job, something you do for money, jobs and positions cant judge your feelings, your heart does that.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2008): Hi there,
You should stop now before your feeling to him getting much deeper...not because he's your teacher but it's just simply because he should work on himself first before he involved you into his life.
If he does love you, he won't give people chance to judge you. He will also care about your feelings.
I don't know how his marriage situation is. Maybe he does like you, maybe his wife is a bitch. But one thing for sure, he should finish the chapter with his wife first, finding his own place, start his new life before dragging a new love into the mess.
I think you've know the answer before you asked and it's painfull. You are here because of your instinct. Educated woman sometimes try to find logical reason to tolerate such a behaviour.
Be strong and trust your instinct. You're a smart, young woman with a good heart. You're worth to be treated right. You're not even 18 yet but you can attract mature guy. So, think about it girl.....you do have something! Do you know how many guys attracted to the youthfull? Enjoy your youthfull years!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2008): Your teacher is really overstepping the mark by touching you. Although you are legally old enough to sleep with him, that doesn't mean that he should be touching you in that way. I would confront him about this - his behaviour is unprofessional. Yes, he could well be doing this to test your reactions - if you're not comfortable with his touching you, tell him so. You're almost 18 - you're not a child anymore so you don't have to let him try to control you.If this doesn't work, you can take it further by going to your head of year or main tutor. That may shock him into stopping things.
I would guess that your teacher rather likes being surrounded by attractive young women, it's good for the ego. Is your teacher by any chance married?
I wish you all the best and hope that the problem is solved very soon
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (13 January 2008):
 How can he fall in love with you when he is already married. He is taking advantage of you . It is wrong for him to do that.It is not love but L-U-S-T!.Get out before you are hurt.
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A
male
reader, xylplxym  +, writes (13 January 2008):
Oh he's not after love i can tell you that much. Not that it matters; a teacher-student relationship is always inappropriate. You should tell him to stop. If you lack confidence enough to confront him, talk to his superiors, they will sort it out. And definitly tell your parents, they ought to know and will help in doing whats best for you. Don't do anything until you tell them first, there are many things you must prepare for before you take action including possible hostility toward you and most probably trial. Don't be afraid, trust your family and take the appropriate actions
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI like him tho, i dont want to 'sort him out'
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2008): i was in a similar situation a couple years ago with a married guy..he was pretty much all the things you mentioned, and i fell for it...i just have to say its not something im proud of in any way and that kind of an age difference is really not good for someone so young. Now i realize, that sweet as he was ( i even felt at one point that he was about to say he was in love with me) he was still using me to deal with psychological issues, and possible marriage issues that i didnt understand fully back then.Looking back now, i would say get out of it as soon as you can. No relationship is better than the one youre in/starting right now, and it sounds like you dont know enough about him to really know what his conscious or unconscious motivations are. i let it get way too far, and can only hope that you will be smarter than i was.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2008): sorry but he is a pervert - EVEN IF YOU LIKE HIM!
he is touching you all over and he is your teacher
let him know you are not interested and that he is in the wrong, report him if you have to
you have let it go on so long now that he feels he can get away with it!
he doesnt LOVE you! he is taking advantage of you!
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A
female
reader, baybee-x-sparkii +, writes (12 January 2008):
 i think you need to talk to someone higher up and get him sorted out...he shouldnt have any feelings for you, you are his student and he can get into a lot of trouble with a lot of people for what he has been doing. i think you need to keep away from him and if you do happen to be in teh same place and this happens again you tell him no...its the only way to get this sorted out.
sorry to be so blunt
x
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