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Is he a FWB or a boyfriend?

Tagged as: Dating, Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 September 2010) 5 Answers - (Newest, 11 September 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, *pendy writes:

my friend doesn't know if shes boyfriend and girlfriend with this guy shes been having sex with. she likes him alot.

but every time she wants to see him, he says yes we will meet up but then when she calls him he would tell her hes busy or not around.

and then texts to apologies and when he says he will call her he doesn't.

what does this mean?? is he interested or what??

oh and should I tell her what you guys say or not?? cos i dont wanna break her heart.


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A female reader, CindyCares Italy + , writes (11 September 2010):

CindyCares agony aunt Neither. She is,quite obviously, only a booty call.

You may show her our opinions, but I don't think it will help.

Some times people need to actually bang their heads a few times against a brick wall, before believing that banging your head against a brick wall is a painful waste of time.

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A male reader, Yos Netherlands +, writes (11 September 2010):

Yos agony auntNeither. Even FWB's are friends, and act like them: meaning they show respect and courtesy. She's just being a 'benefit' for some guy who likely doesn't even like her, certainly doesn't respect her, and could easily be seeing several other women too.

I think you should send her a link to this page.

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A female reader, kirra07 Canada +, writes (11 September 2010):

If she has to wonder whether they are boyfriend and girlfriend, they are not. Generally you are boyfriend and girlfriend once someone asks you to be. If they are just having sex and there hasn't been any, "would you like to go on a date with me?" or "will you be my girlfriend?" they are not bf/gf nor on their way to being gf/bf. Sounds like FWB to me.

As for the being busy and blowing her off, it could be that he's really busy, but depending on how often this happens, it seems more like he's just not that interested in anything other than sex.

You might want to advise her to cut her losses and move on. The longer she gets strung along, the more it will hurt in the end.

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A male reader, $izZle India +, writes (11 September 2010):

$izZle agony auntI really think that your friend should forget this guy regardless of what their status is because this guy obviously has commitment issues he just can't live up to his words ... I mean his words are empty with no value ... even if he says I love you those words have no meaning coz it could just be like saying ill be there or ill meet you and not showing up ...

besides she sounds like a nice gurl who deserves some1 more than that he seems to be ignoring her and disrespecting her by not living up to his words and disappointing her ...

It is wrong to make some1 you love feel bad or disappointing them by any means. And sounds like he is not making any attempt to make it work either ...

feels like he is just in for the s3x ... as for whether you should share this with her don't tell her that shared this with some1 online but tell her that this is how you feel about the situation ...

she might not like that you shared things online with your friends :)

just tell her that she is worth more than that and she doesn't deserve to be ignored like that and disrespected ... the rest is up to her. Good luck and take care X :)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2010):

Everything here is just an opinion and possibly not even an expert one at that. I think it is okay to share what you see here. It might be easier just to let her read it though rather than you telling her. As far as the boy goes, he might care for her, but I doubt it. As a man, if I was crazy about a girl, and having sex with her I would be back to her in a heart beat if she needed me, and if we were supposed to meet up I'd be there short of something beyond my control. Think about any hot and heavy relationship, it always starts out with way too much time together for a while, and then cools off over time until you are married for 25 years, bitter, and wondering where the better part of the last quarter century had gone, wondering if it is too late to order one of those East block mail-order brides and start anew...but I digress.

In any case, my take is he is in it for the sex, which as a guy I applaud, but as a dad I think is despicable. Women deserve a lot more respect than this and if you're not getting it you should find it elsewhere.

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