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Is giving in to one's neurosis satisfying?

Tagged as: Health, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 October 2013) 2 Answers - (Newest, 13 October 2013)
A male United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I have had a fantasy of being completely dominated in a bedroom by an attractive woman. In my case, completely means bondage, strap on, lack of power, discomfort, but not necessarily aggression or pain.

I've always been curious but never had guts to find a willing partner and act on it. Is giving in to one's neurosis satisfying? How much? For how long? Are there any psychological consequences?

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A female reader, AuntyEm United Kingdom +, writes (13 October 2013):

AuntyEm agony auntJoin FETLIFE and find someone to help you realise your fantasy. It's not neurosis, it's not even that unusual...loads of people have some or other fetish.

Life is too short, just do it...and have fun!!!

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A female reader, shrodingerscat United States +, writes (13 October 2013):

shrodingerscat agony auntBeing sexually submissive is not a neurosis. It is telling that you think this, though.

Why do you believe this is socially unacceptable? Yes, we do live in a Patriarchal culture that tells men that if they are submissive they are "like women" and therefor will be judged like women (less worthy than "real men") HOWEVER, modern day Feminism works constantly to allow people like yourself to buck the trend of only valuing traditional, gender-essentialist sexualities of "Male Dominant/Female Submissive". Be the change you want to see. Be open about yourself, educate yourself about BDSM sex and submissiveness.

As a sexual submissive to my husband of 8 years, I can with great experience say that there is absolutely no long term negative side effects from being sexually submissive. In fact, by being honest with him about who I am sexually, I have become even more open with him which has led us to a better and more satisfying relationship.

I want to suggest "The New Bottoming Book" which you can get on Amazon for next to nothing, which is one of many "kinky why for's/how to's" that can help you.

I also will suggest you join Fetlife, which I am a long-time member of, which is a kinky social networking site that is a fantastic resource of education.

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