A
female
age
30-35,
*asami
writes:Is cyber sex cheating? I have a bf but i ended up having cyber sex just once with one of my friends i met online. Should i tell my bf? My bf and i have been together for 2 months now, we havent told eachother we loved eachother, so it hasent gotten to serious. Some people say i should tell him, then again some say i shouldnt, i dont really want to tell him, i dont want hurt him over somthing this stupid and small, i regret doing it and i said no at first but it just happened. Was it wrong? i feel so bad.
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male
reader, Dangly  +, writes (26 January 2008):
it depends what you think like really.
If you want to know if its cheating, make urself mutual in your mind(i.e dont be biased because you have done it/want it) and ask yourself, would it hurt me if you found out your boyfriend had been having cyber sex. If it does hurt you, then you have your answer x
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (26 January 2008):
 I don't think you should feel bad about it.It is just like a dream or fantasy online. You should be at ease.
It is in the past, you do not have to tell anyone and no one knows you did it.If you have not experience it ,you would not know what cyber sex is like.
You can Google the word , 'Cyber sex" and there are many online materials on this topic.
Do not let anyone judge you on religious or some holier than thou attitudes. You just move on .
You can read more here;-
http://www.pinksuzie.com/2007/07/30/do-you-tryst-online-or-have-internet-sex/
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (25 January 2008):
 Well since all the repliers so far have been female I thought I would add a male perspective. I can kind of see both sides on this one; to me there is an 'intent to do' in cybersex which isn't even present in pornography, after all you *watch* porn you don't participate and say 'i am doing this and that'. I think if we are being technically correct then is what has to make it cheating (but then again that makes porn not cheating which I know alot of people don't agree with). Saying it is impersonal really doesn't mean alot because so is a one-night stand with a night club random. However, it is something that I would find it relatively easy to forgive,especially if there were extenuating circumstances (LDR, something else preventing a healthy sex life).
I think you have to go with what the individual feels so your bf may well be forgiving and he may well not; especially this early on in the relationship. Telling him will cause you alot of problems although it may satisfy your guilty desire to punish yourself. Given it was only cybersex it may well be one of those things that you are best putting in your locker and putting down to experience. On the other hand it may eat away at you...it is relatively small and if push came to shove I really dont think its worth gambling your entire relationship on...good luck :)
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A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse +, writes (25 January 2008):
 Personally I think it is. What's the difference between doing that and flirting extremely outrageously in real life? If my girlfriend started talking dirty to some other guy I wouldn't be happy at all and drop quicker than... errr... well quick :)
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A
female
reader, buddys  +, writes (25 January 2008):
 Think of it this way, would you want him doing this to you? If it would bother you, then perhaps you should rethink what you are doing. If it wouldn't bother you, then perhaps you should discuss your relationship and be honest. If he feels the way you do, then he should be okay with it, right? Then there are no secrets, and no surprises.
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A
female
reader, Cherriepie +, writes (25 January 2008):
 No I dont consider it cheating..I've done it ..my boyfriend too..i know some of my friends do it. its no big deal unless you make it a big issue. its uaually pretty anonymous with people you meet online anyway.
Sex is when you have boddy parts actually meeting and doing things to each other. talk is cheap. chat is cheap. its never real sex for me even if im touching myself.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (25 January 2008):
 If you know it wasnt a smart thing to do and wont be repeating the said thing, then im a big believer in 'if it benefits them to be told the truth tell them, if it doesnt make their life a better place if you do tell them, then dont'
Technically it could be classed as cheating but, you are very early days, you dont yet know if you are going to be a long term couple and you have no desire to do it again i take it? I would keep shtum personally.
C xxxx
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A
female
reader, confused.i.is +, writes (25 January 2008):
 You yourself obviously have some doubts as to whether or not it is cheating.
Personally for me it would be.
I see no reason to tell him, for what end?
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