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Is a "blow job" considered sex? Do girls do this for fun?

Tagged as: Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 March 2008) 9 Answers - (Newest, 1 April 2008)
A male United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I am curious as to why so many teenage girls, and maybe even some older girls and women, don't think a blowjob is sex. Do any of you girls or women here think a blowjob isn't sex? If so, why do you think that?

And if a blowjob isn't sex, would these girls give a blowjob to someone who isn't their boyfriend, but a guy who is just a friend? Or is it something that a girl would do just for fun?

I have always thought that a blowjob is sex because the guy ejaculates and other person is involved, so that makes it a type of sex.

View related questions: blow-job, ejaculate

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2008):

Anyone who says a blowjob isn't sex is lying to themselves. Blowjobs are great for pleasing a man when intercorse isn't practical or as a form of foreplay. If you are a virgin you can remain one since you are not penetrated vaginally and your hymen stays intact. However, it's a great way to give pleasure to a man without getting pregnant. Learn how to do it right by asking the guy to tell you what he likes. After all he is the expert about his cock and what pleases it. He is the untimate teached. If your guy is nice he will return the favor by going down on you. You are the expert down there so tell him what to do to please you. Let him know that your clit is the place to tease to give you the most pleasure.

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A female reader, MBHP United Kingdom +, writes (19 March 2008):

I don't consider it sex at all but i would only ever do it for guys im with. I've been with 2 guys and in both cases sex has come before blowjobs... just cause it seems way more intimate to me than actuall sex :S dont know why but i need more trust to give and get oral sex. x

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2008):

I tend to agree with you Cherriepie. But apparently a lot of teenage girls, especially middle school girls, do not. Some posts from women here even say a blowjob is not sex.

But I have to admit that it gives the advantage to us guys, because if girls think giving a guy a blowjob is not sex, that would at least theoretically make it easier for a guy to get a "no-strings attached" blowjob from a girl/woman.

And to those females here who say a blowjob isn't sex, if a guy were to perform cunnilingus on your vagina and you had an orgasm, would you consider that sex or not?

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A female reader, Cherriepie United States +, writes (17 March 2008):

Cherriepie agony auntOh yes a blow job is defintely sex, and i thnk its as much sex as fucking. Ive done blowjobs with guys I know for fun, but i would still call it sex, anyone who doesnt think its sex is fooling themselves. a handshake is a handshake, and a kiss may be just a kiss but a blowjob is sex anyway you look at it! That white stuff on your lips means he got an orgasm, and orgasms happen from sexual stimulation.

TO any young girls who think blowjobs are not considered sex ask your self what oldersister suggested. IF your boyfriend got a blowjob from another girl would it be ok with you. Absolutely no! That's because its sex! Think ladies!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2008):

My wife and I both consider a blowjob as a form of sex. Perhaps that is because we are older than most of the posters. Two of the dictionary definitions are: "sexual intercourse" and "sexual activity or behavior leading to it" I guess the second one qualifies it as sex. To the liking part. My wife likes to give me a blowjob and swallow. She will do it any time. A girlfriend I had many years ago was very good at it, but I don't think she liked it too much. It wasn't that common 30 or more years ago and not as many women did it then. At least that is our impression.

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A female reader, lilmisse2424 United States +, writes (16 March 2008):

lilmisse2424 agony auntIntercourse is considered sex, whereas a blowjob is considered a form of play. It is not really sex because there is no sperm in the vagina. Girls just do it to get money, drugs, and alcohol, and if in a relationship, to pleasure their boyfriend.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2008):

The reason I am asking is that I am trying to determine the logic behind the belief among some girls that a blowjob isn't sex. From what I have read and seen on TV and the Web, girls, especially those in middle school, don't seem to think giving a guy a blowjob is that big of a deal. It's like they consider it another form of play. I have even read and heard about teenage girls offering guys blowjobs in order to get the guys to buy them alcohol or cigarettes. Some of you have probably also heard about "rainbow parties." Those are essentially blowjob parties where the girls all wear different color lipgloss and then all the girls give every guy there a blowjob. The idea is that every guy gets all the different lip gloss colors on his penis, so it looks like a rainbow.

I'm just trying to figure out where these girls got the idea that giving a blowjob isn't sex, like giving a blowjob to a guy is no big deal, and not something they should think is wrong or risky. It almost seems like middle school girls consider the first blowjob as something to look forward to and sort of a rite of passage.

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A male reader, Richard_EMids United Kingdom +, writes (16 March 2008):

Richard_EMids agony auntIs this a Bill and Monica question?? Depends why you're asking. Legal reasons. An "under the age of consent" issue. Divorce grounds. Stages of intimacy. Birth control. What are you trying to determine??

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2008):

Well I wouldn't say its sex, because it's more like foreplay really. I know it's oral SEX, but I don't really class oral sex as sex lol. Unless I was pretty lonely or hadn't been in a relationship for a long time, I wouldn't just give a guy friend a blow job, but I guess some girls just enjoy giving guys pleasure, boyfriend or otherwise. Maybe the guy asks for one if he knows you're single.

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