A
male
age
41-50,
*oe31
writes:Hey:My girlfriend of two years broke up with me roughly 10 weeks ago and we have been NC for just shy of 4 weeks. She broke up with me because I was studying and working full time for my med boards for the 5 months prior and wasn't able to give her much time. Little things turned into big things and she said it was too hard for her. In addition, she just got her first real job as a traveling saleswoman two months ago and doesn't want to be bothered with her a boyfriend with her new job.I did all the pathetic things at first, pleaded, tried to reason, etc. For some weeks things were good and she was trying but in the end she said she didn't know what she wants and wanted to date other guys to see if I was the one. We agreed that we could no longer talk at all 4 weeks ago.That said, this four weeks of no contact has been up and down for me. Some days I am strong and other days I am really a mess. This last week was the toughest yet for me especially with Thanksgiving.My questions:1) Is she missing me as much as I miss her;2) Is 4 weeks without any contact a sign that its totally over?Any advice would be great. I am pretty bummed.Thanks.
View related questions:
broke up, shy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Joe31 +, writes (14 December 2010):
Joe31 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the advice. I decided to be civil and avoid the waiting game, etc. I sent back a response roughly 3 hours later that read simply. "Thanks. Same to you."
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (14 December 2010):
 That's up to you, if you're doing great at dating and moving forward but yet still have deep feelings for her, I'd let it go...stick with the NC. Just because she contacts you, it doesn't mean she wants to get back together. Basically, she's touching base with you. Look at this emotional roller coaster you've been on, she's taking you for quite some ride. She's not going to drop it all, her life, job just to come running back into a relationship. If you can be civil, and keep your feelings together, you could send her a message back answering her questions. Keep it vague.
"Thank you, I'm doing well. Yes, the holidays are around the corner..almost finished with my Christmas shopping. Merry Christmas!"
I wouldn't pour your heart out telling her how much you miss her or exchange any more emails. You've come way too far to turn around and back track.
...............................
A
male
reader, Joe31 +, writes (14 December 2010):
Joe31 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey: After 6 weeks almost to the day, she sent me an email tonight. "Hi. I know you prefer for me to not contact you but I just wanted to let you know that I've been thinking about you and your new job. Hope things are going well and your getting ready for the holidays."
I have been feeling great, dating, and really getting myself right. I vowed not to contact her again and was true for 6 weeks....then she sends me this.
Over the last couple week I contemplated how I would respond if she ever contacted me and I really have mixed feelings. Part of me misses her and wants to get back while the other part isn't so sure anymore.
That said, I am not looking too far into this email. However, I have a feeling if I respond it could open the door to talking. Again, I am just not sure what I want.
If I do respond, what do you think I should say? If I don't respond, would it burn the bridge forever?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2010): Your in the same boat as me. Its been 4 months to the day, since she left. And I still miss her. Our relationship was nothing but fights and accusations. I personally hated it. My ex moved on rather quickly with another man 6 days later.
Your not going to stop missing her for a while my friend. You just have to keep the NC up and learn to move on. Its hard I know. I still check my exes profile on FB once in a while. Try not to do anything like that. No emails, no texts, no crank calls, and no internet creeping.
...............................
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (27 November 2010):
a.) There's no way to tell. But most likely not, if she's not contacting you.
b.)Yes, it's time to move on and accept that this is over. I'm sorry it came down to this. If it was meant to be she wouldn't have chose her job over you. You're a doctor now, you have women falling at your feet. Give one of them a shot, it will help you to move on.
...............................
|
