A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:A few months ago I got out of a 12-year relationship. Two or three months ago I started seeing a guy from work. We've been intimate, had sex, a really good time. We talk easily, laugh easily, and all that good stuff. He too recently got out of a 14-year relationship. I made it clear to him that I wasn't interested in a relationship with him. Just to hang out and have sex. It may sound cold, but we were VERY good friends before it turned intimate so I felt comfortable being honest in this way. He seemed to reciprocate the same feelings, not wanting to jump back into a relationship. Well, now I have been in contact with an old flame and we plan to see each other soon. He knows I've been seeing someone but I told him it's not serious. I'm wondering the best way to handle this situation. It's been a LONG time since I've dated more than one person -- both of whom I am VERY interested in. I am torn. Do I tell the guy I've been seeing that I'm going to see someone else? We normally get together every weekend. This new guy lives out of town. Either he'll be coming here and monopolizing my weekend, or I'll be leaving town to see him. Without lying, how do I explain my inability to see guy number one? God, I hope this makes sense. I just want to be cool about all this. Learn the RIGHT, sensitive way to date two men at once. Having sex with them both, by the way. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (3 April 2009):
 Your "friends with benefits" set up with your friend means no strings sex. Just tell him either you will be going out of town or that you'll be having company this weekend so you'll be too busy to hook up this weekend. If you both have agreed to not being in a relationship, there shouldn't be any problem.
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