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Interested in a guy but not sure how to go about it. What should I do?

Tagged as: Dating, Online dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 June 2012) 3 Answers - (Newest, 6 July 2012)
A age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Interested in this guy but don't know what to do...?

Alright kiddies,

Met this guy on a new online dating site and have been keeping casual contact off and on with him for about a month (in a total, perhaps 3-4 mails on the site). On Sun/Monday he suggested that we keep in touch on Facebook since both of us were new to the whole online-dating bit and both found it kind of awkward. Since then the communication has increased a bit. Not full on conversations, but text here and there to see what either of us are up to. He seems sweet and we have a lot of common interests and find obviously find each other attractive. But we're moving in baby-steps and have not exchanged numbers or met in person yet...even though that we have both expressed interest in going on a date.

However, something happened last night that kinda through me off. Earlier that day, we chatted and he had to log off to meet up with some friends at a dinner party. Late into the evening (it was about 10), he sends me an fb-IM through his phone to ask me what I was up to and if I would be interested in meeting him.

When I had asked when,he pointed to that evening. I was a little taken aback since it was getting pretty late (10 in the evening on a Fri) but I thought nothing of it since I'm in my mid-twenties and make plans rather sporadically with friends (evening or daytime). I joked around that women "need a heads-up" (due to us needing to get ready..etc) and asked him what he had wanted to do. He said " I don't know...I want to kiss u."

I put him on the spot about it in a joking/serious way--about how he and I barely know each other, haven't talked on the phone or even met in person yet. I wondered why he would be interested in kissing someone he didn't "really" know.

He agreed with me and apologized, blaming it on him partying a bit too hard with his friends and having a couple of glasses of wine/beer. According to him it was just that he finds me really attractive and wants to meet in person sometime soon. Minutes later after just joking around and patronizing him, he asks me again if I want company. Again, taken a bit back but I didn't take it too seriously. I joked around and told him to sober up and the conversation ended on a light note.

Now....here's the thing. What should I do? He contacted me again the next day to apologize again. But I'm not too sure where I should/if I should take the next step. I find him attractive, we have a lot in common, and we live in the same city. Literally 15 minutes away from each other. I want to give it a shot, yet at the same time our last conversation threw me off for a bit. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt since I have been in the same situation and probably said a lot of things to potential dates-lovers and or boyfriends when out on the town with the girls and have have a couple of drinks.

I want to go on a date with the guy and see if any chemistry between us. Should I wait for him to make the first move...or should I ask him out (maybe he's shy)? I'm not gonna lie, I'm slightly old fashion in the sense that I think that the guy (at the first meet up) should ask the girl out for the first date...but at the same time, I want to get the ball running!

Or should I just push the "next" button by last nights convo?

View related questions: exchanged numbers, facebook, kissing, shy, text

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks guys for the sounds advice. I followed through with the suggestion of nudging the idea of a date (whilst allowing him to plan it out) and it worked perfectly. We wound up seeing each other yesterday and it was a success!

The first date went surprisingly well. To be honest, I felt as though it was one of those rare "comfortably smooth" dates-- where there wasn't an uncomfortable silence anywhere.... And we just kep talking for hours :). A genuine soul I must say....and the sparks were flying.

We're making plans for round two... Crossing my fingers that it continues to go well!

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (1 July 2012):

aunt honesty agony auntMost people can by nervous when it comes to meeting someone off the internet, that's my guess here, that he got a few drinks on him and it gave him some courage to ask did you want to meet up. He probably did feel bad the next day and it is good that he apologised.

I understand that you are old fashioned in a sense that you want him to ask you out, but I think you need to give him a little nudge in the right direction. Tell him you are still interested in meeting up with him and see what he has to say. Good luck.

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A female reader, Eyespy17 United States +, writes (1 July 2012):

He is probably totally embarrassed by his drunken behavior. I would send him a text and say "let's have a sober date. :)" and then see if he responds. This way he knows you are still interested. It's a little nudge but the ball is still in his court to solidify the plan and time.

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