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Insensitive, thoughtless partner that doesn't care about special occassions. Calling a woman as materialistic when confronted him about his ways.

Tagged as: Faded love, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 May 2016) 2 Answers - (Newest, 13 May 2016)
A female Philippines age 36-40, anonymous writes:

If I can get back to the times that i can run away from my partner, i will. I am 30 years old and my partner is 40 yrs old. I did not imagine I will be treated like this by a man i am living with for almost 8years. We are not married but since we have a 6yr old daughter and a 4yr old son, i have to think of my children's welfare. Even when we just started, i felt like i am unimportant and just taken for granted. I am single and educated, but still i accepted him even he is separatedfrom his first wife coz i love him. But the same problem with all of u, he doesn't care about my feelings. He doesnt care about my birthday,xmas, anniversary or even mothers day. Every special occasion, i have cardsor gift or even special surprises for him like bedroom date with candle, cake and wine and a dance, but got nothing in return. There were times i was told by him as materialistic when he knew my sentiments. frankly i don't know how to react when he said i am greed and materialistic. Its not about money or gifts, its all about making me special. Yes thats true its fatal to a relationship because i feel my love and respect for him has gone. Sometimes i am thinking, is it about me that fails or what? Is it because my First and only boyfriend before meeting him treated me as princess, treated me very special that even we had long distance relationship he sent special presents for me and took me for a date in the mountain just the two of us. Sometimes I cried because I left my 1st boyfriend for this kind of man. Yes he is telling me he loves me, but I can't feel i am special with him. He is so insensitive, thoughtless and he is not romantic. Last sunday mothers day again no cards,no present and no date. I confronted him, u know what, he told me i am not contented, he has no money, he was busy, i am just materialistic. He even told me thar it was so little thing to be argue with. For just a gift or a card? It was really a JUST for him. But you know i cried for 2nights for the heartache.. For him its a little thing, but for me its a very big big thing.I am sensitive and passionate and romantic but sometimes i want to revenge, i am acting like i do not care as he did to me. I want to treat him the way he treated me. Do i still have to leave him? Yes we are not married but we have 2 kids. I am planning to leave him for good. But i am considering an assurance that he will support the kids. What will I do? Is he really loves me?

View related questions: anniversary, long distance, money, revenge

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A female reader, Caring Aunty A Australia +, writes (13 May 2016):

Caring Aunty A agony auntHe is definitely taking you for granted, insulting you and rubbing it in your face. He’s a taker, not a giver… he doesn’t appreciate of your thoughtfulness, nor understands the little things a man does for a woman mean the world to us. You’re wasting your time educating him after 8 years.

You are a young 30 year old romantic giving loving woman, wasting your talents on someone so selfish. Ask him, how expensive are good manners compared to a divorce? He can afford manners to say Happy Mothers Day to the mother of his 2 children! Cook a meal for you when he’s not busy? Show respect and talk sensibly. How hard is that to provide for a man with no money? He provides excuses!

For whatever reason you fell in love with him, he is no longer that person or interested in changing. He saying he loves you has no action! Where’s the proof… his bum sitting on the couch, calling you greedy, materialistic? Every marriage needs to be kept interesting, stimulated and refreshed. Those are the things he does not understand by the example you have set.

Fortunately you have youth on your side if you’re brave enough to leave this undeserving man. See the Laws of your Country regarding Child Support.

Take Care – CAA

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (10 May 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntSomeone can love you without buying you gifts. Off course we all want to be appreciated and showed that we are loved. But maybe he cannot afford to buy you gifts, maybe he is not sure how to be romantic. I guess every relationship is different. If this is not what you want from life then it is your choice to leave him. Talk to someone about getting him to pay maintenance for your children.

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