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Inappropriate touching from an uncle.

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Question - (6 March 2010) 18 Answers - (Newest, 25 August 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 18-21, anonymous writes:

My uncle touches me inappropratly he always touches my bum and boobs and it makes me sick! I am 16 by the way. I'm a really shy person, i know i should tell someone but i don't know who to tell and it's so embarrising. The only person i would probably tell is my school nurse but i don't see her anymore because i'm in college. I'm afraid because i don't know what would happen. Things spread so easily! i don't see him much anymore. It depressed me a lot in school he comes to my house now and again and walks in to my room and he trys to give me a hug and then do it. I always try to avoid it. He knows i dont like it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I'm still in college. He is not to interact with me anymore. I'm not doing child care anymore, I'm doing sport and will be going in to my second year to do it. Last year we would go to the sports center and I'm sure I saw him in the gym!! I got upset and ran straight out. I told my lecture (Bethan) That there was a family member in there that I didn't like. I find it hard to sleep because I worry about things so much. I have one of my lectures on facebook and I'm wondering about showing him what has been going on. I have been having trouble with some other boy and I'm going to let them all know.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2010):

you go girl!!!! stand your ground. i have a feeling he will avoid you in the future. anytime you are together, give him that look. look him straight in the eye with that, "you may be fooling them but i know the truth" look. im proud of you. mal

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thankyou! i'm glad I came here for advise, i feel much more confident now. They havent done nothing about i't but i can guaranteed he wont be touching me again. Thanks x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2010):

Well, everyone is probably embarrassed. It is your job to just keep making a big deal about it. Embarrass him in public, keep complaining and trust me, it will start to resolve. Just keep making a big noise about it. Be tough. People will turn against you, insult you, say you are making a big deal, lying etc... But, just endure and hold your ground. This will prepare you for other battles in life.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada + , writes (8 March 2010):

janniepeg agony auntI'll tell you a real story. There was an immigrant family from Eastern Europe. They came to the US to make a better living. They were poor so their son had to earn money in a candy store. He earns $100 per week and the family was happy. When he turned 12 his boss became interested in him and started touching him. He knew it was wrong but didn't mention anything because the pay got better. He couldn't stand it anymore so he told his parents. His dad got mad and told him to shut up and stop imagining things. The abuse went on for years. The boy grew up and never had a loving relationship. His sexuality was screwed. In his 20s he confronted his parents about it and was screaming. Why didn't you do anything to stop? His parents were sorry and they reconciled.

No one knows why parents could not deal with this. The morale of the story is that parents are not perfect. We can not depend on them. They are only taught to raise children when everything's normal. They filter out things they don't want to deal with and suppress the child's need to challenge inadequate parenting.

I hope you stand up for yourself. Things would spread easily. If anything you have to F your uncle's life over to stop what he's doing. Make it big, so that other perverts would be scared because jail isn't worth it, as there are worse perverts in jail. Child molesters in jail get treated the worse in jail. I think you should send this page to your uncle to scare him.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

My uncle got away with it. He came up my house today to say sorry but i told my parents i didn't want to see him. I was out my backyard then my mother called me in when he went and had a word with me. She said he didn't mean it that way and that he was upset. He adimited to everything i had said to my mother. He said he was teasing and told me to phone my cousin who is 18 because he does it to her aswell and she would tell me that he's teasing.(she's stuped then!) My mother told him i'm at that very awkward age and he shouldent do things like that. She said to me he does Nag alot but he took it to far because your at that awkward age when you don't know if things are serious or not. I explained everything to her. I would push him away and he'd still try. Or i would hide from him. But i'm really gona smash his face in if he trys again. I can't believe my pearents!. He's a stinking pervert! i told them, and that i don't want to see him. My mother is always trying to say i took it the wrong way when i explain... why would an old man do that!? if that happend to my child id phone the police! i'll have to do that next instead of telling them. She also said if i don't want to see him again we have to cancel our holiday because he's coming... why can't he cancel it.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada + , writes (7 March 2010):

janniepeg agony auntThat's all your father said? That's not a very constructive response. He sounds like he couldn't believe it and doesn't want a confrontation. If that's the cause you have to rely on your own. If there's a family gathering and your uncle has to be invited, make sure you walk outside to the porch or something. Don't make him follow you into your room. Or better yet, Put a secret cam in your room. Record what he does. Play that video (tell everyone it's about your childhood) in front of your whole family. Let everyone know your uncle is a sick fuck. Your father would then be ashamed of not doing anything to stop.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2010):

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Thanks everyone! My parents just come in my room and i let it out. My farther said he's going to sort it but i don't know whats going to happen yet xxx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2010):

i agree with the other aunts on here, however if you are too shy to actually talk to someone, i would propose that you write it down and give it to your mother or dad. or leave it on their dresser or somewhere for them to find it when you are out. i would prefer that you talk to them face to face....but if all else fails find a way to communicate the problem to them. worst case scenerio, print this thread out and give it to them.

i had a grandfather who innapropriatley touched my younger sister.i was not shy and he never bothered me, but she was much quieter and on the shy side and he tried it on her. she came to me and i took care of business. find someone you can count on and talk to them. i have said it many many times but always trust your instincts on these things. if he sets the creepometer off... it would accept that he is a creep and respond accordingly. good luck sweetheart, mal

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A female reader, Teenage-Rebel United Kingdom +, writes (7 March 2010):

Teenage-Rebel agony auntHe is trying to get to you.He knows you don't like it and he knows how to make you feel weak and insecure, You have to find the courage within yourself to speak to someone and try not to let him get to you.

Tell someone... Tell your parents and if they don't listen then take it further...Tell someone outside your family.

You have to get the courage to tell somebody, cause if you don't then things could get worse . Your better telling somebody before its too late.

Although your posted as anonymous it does take a lot of courage asking for advice on here...Maybe you can use the advice we all give to help give you a confidence boost to tell someone about what is going on

i hope this helps and good luck x

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2010):

Your uncle is a pervert

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2010):

Tell your parents and next time he tries to grab you punch him in the balls, and throat. Use your hands, elbows, legs, hands, etc. Scream and yell as A female reader, anonymous says. No one has the right to tocuh you inappropriately. Here are some vids that can help you if he tries to grab you. Should help you so you can get an idea how simple moves can make a big impact

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGTjup9BJZU&feature=channel

Break your silence and Best of luck

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2010):

what a gross pathetic perv.

I so feel how grossed out you must be. Ick.

But you have to put him in his place. COURAGE GIRL!

or you will feel icky and dirty. Make a huge deal about it.

Say something like this to your mom or dad "your brother is a total perv. He is always feeling me up."

And when he does it, tell him he is a gross nasty old man. I know you are shy, but this is your chance to break out of it and stand up for yourself. DO NOT BE A COWARD. Even if you feel scared and tremble when you do it, just do it.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada + , writes (6 March 2010):

janniepeg agony auntI don't understand why you keep letting your uncle in your house. If my uncle touched me just one time, he'll be sure I won't ever see him again for the rest of my life. Better be alone than to spend time with someone taking advantage of your need to connect.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2010):

Yeah hun, speak up!!! Don't let this jerk get to you! You tell him to stop, but tell him strictly in his face, show him you can stand up for yourself. And if you have parents tell them as soon as you can, or which ever adult you feel that you trust the most hun!! It doesn't have to be family, you tell the person you trust. But please hun do it quick cause he will keep doing it until this is stopped.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2010):

I so agree with the comment below-honey, stand up for yourself. Scream, shout, throw things at him when he comes near you-this might sound crazy but it will get your parents attention. Please tell them; I don't want anything bad happening to you. Keep strong x

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A female reader, Lonelygurl00 United States +, writes (6 March 2010):

Tell your parents, if they dont believe you keep telling family members their is nothing to be emarrased of. You should do something before it geta worse( rape) stand up to him. Dont be shy!!

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A female reader, Auntie E United States +, writes (6 March 2010):

Auntie E agony auntIf you have a parent tell them! Time to stand up to this scum bag! Get over your shyness - get in his face the next timehe comes over to your house and tell him to get the F out your room - don't be afraid. That is what he is counting on - your fear. No one has the right to touch you without your permission. Tell any adult that you think will listen.

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