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Inappropriate contact with my boss but I need this job! Help!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 March 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 3 March 2011)
A female Malaysia age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Please help me! I'm 27 and my boss 60 years old. I just joined this company 6 months ago.My boss started talking to me sex related stories........and almost everyday he told me want to smooch me.........but I refused but one day I cannot control my feelings he ask me to just hug him..I went and hugged him...he smooch me....touch my breast.....kissed me but we never had sex......after few minutes I realized that I made mistake and as well him...so he begged me to forgive him. But the incident really haunted me and I cried almost everyday....because I never touched a guy before in my life.....the feelings really killing me every minutes and seconds.....please advise me....what should I do???For time being I cannot resign my job as I have more commitments thus i'm studying part-time..this place is really suits me since not much work. Please help me!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you so much for you advice. Yes he's married with 2 childrens (2 daugthers). Yes this is sexual harrassment but if I were to sue him then my family members will know about this and I'm really ashamed of this.I'm not married yet....and this will destroy my life.....I think at the moment I need ample time to forget this....and I will make sure this thing wouldn't happen again.

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A female reader, TEM United States +, writes (2 March 2011):

TEM agony auntWhere I am from they call that sexual harassment in the workplace. However, it might not be that different from where you come from as doing something about, even in the USA, it is very difficult.

Apart from the fact that it is wrong for a 60-year-old to hit on a 27-year-old, he took advantage of the fact that he has the power to fire you if you do not comply with his wishes. That's not fair. Here, you can hire a lawyer and sue, but few women do because it is too costly and difficult, especially if the job job they have doesn't pay much and the workers aren't protected by a Union. If your job is supported by a Union, I would advise you to go to them, but I get the feeling it is not. Most of the time women just move on to another job.

You may be able to salvage this. You did not have sex with him. He was remorseful as well. You must appeal to him. If he is a caring person he will listen. Tell him what happened was a mistake. Tell him you need the job, and while you are very flattered that he finds you attractive, you cannot become romantically involved with him.

Is he married? Is so, tell him you do not fool around with married men. If he is not, tell him you do not mix business with pleasure. If this doesn't work you will have to look for another job. You found this one. Perhaps you will be able to find another.

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