A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a girlfriend that I love. We have been dating for months and all that we have done is kiss and make out. This is fine with me because I really like her. It can be frustrating, though. Meanwhile, my longtime platonic friend Kim has made it clear that she is interested in having no-strings-attached sex with me. I don't really know what to do. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Skeez  +, writes (25 August 2007):
 Sorry love but I dont think you should do that.
No strings attached sex with your friend? some friend she is when obviously she knows your in a relationship.
Sounds like a jealous young girl who thinks you will go straight for her offer.
And if you really loved your girlfriend the idea of cheating wouldnt even cross your mind. So it sounds also as though you dont really love her.
If you want to go with your friends offer. Dump your girlfriend. Tell her the offer your friend gave you. Be very honest with her no matter how much it will hurt her. she deserves to know that you chose sex over love.
But if you love your girlfriend and you are one of the decent men who choose love any day over sex then good for you! A girl deserves a guy like that. And plus you said you had only been going out a couple of months. A couple of months? and you want sex already? bitfast isnt it? At least you know one day you two will share somehting more valuable than sex with your slutty friend who you dont have pure feelings for. Sorry to call your friend a slut but she does sound like one.
Goodluck and I hope you choose the right decision.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2007): If you are considering this "friend's" offer, than you can't love your girlfriend, think of how crap she'd feel when she finds out? I've been cheated on and it made me feel awful, doubt myself, I even blamed myself for it because i felt i wasn't a good enough girlfriend (i too was anxious about having sex)... You'd be doing so much harm, why are you saying you don't really know what to do?! You should be wary of this friend also, she can't be a very nice person to suggest such an idea, especially while you have a girlfriend. If you truly love your girlfriend, spare her feelings and heartbreak and ignore this no strings proposal.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2007): I guess it depends what is more important to you right now. No-strings sex or love with the future potential of sex. I know how you feel because there have been times in my life where I wanted nothing more than no-strings-attached relationships. And believe it or not that is often hard to find just because most people do get attached. But it is also very hard to find someone that you love and who loves you back and who's perfect. It just depends what you want. I always knew what I wanted before I got in a relationship. So I would have never had this problem because anybody who would have wanted to hook up with me I would have turned down. If I still wanted to be single I would have not gotten in a relationship. You just gotta know what you want.But you got into a relationship clearly not knowing what you want. Otherwise you would have turned down your friends advances without a question. You are still young and you are really at an age where it is understandable that you want to have fun. And you should. It is not up to us to decide what you should do. That is something you have got to realise on your own. I just want you to know that there is nothing wrong with wanting either. But you can't have both so you have to decide which do you want more and go with that. And next time before you jump into a relationship make sure that it is something you REALLY want. Make sure that you have gotten enough singlehood out of your system and are totally ready to be with one person (no matter how long she makes you wait) so that you don't hurt anybody.
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A
female
reader, Oblivia  +, writes (25 August 2007):
 My advice to you is to stick with the girl you love. If it means no sex for a while, it will still be worth waiting around. The no-string thing your friend is offering sounds like she might be jealous. Maybe she is secretely in love with you and want to mess with your feelings towards the other girl.If you don't love your girlfriend that much though, I'll say go out and have fun. But break up with her first! And be careful with Kim; it's not very likely you will remain friends if you start having no-string sex with her.Wish you all the best.
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A
male
reader, somewhat_anonymous +, writes (25 August 2007):
Sex doesn't make a relationship. If you really love the girlfriend, I don't think you'd have too much thinking to do. And if the friend is really a friend, why would she bring this up when you have a girlfriend anyway?
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A
female
reader, beautifultrustnlover +, writes (25 August 2007):
 no mater what, if you really care for your gf than you wont cheat on her and you'll wait until she's ready to make that step! if you do sleep with this friend it will mess things up for you and your gf so i advise you to keep it in your pants or use your hand until she's ready
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