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In love with my ex's little brother

Tagged as: Family, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 February 2013) 3 Answers - (Newest, 1 March 2013)
A female United States age 41-50, *enjuly writes:

I lived with my ex for 3 years, during those years 2 of them his younger brother lived with us... I was very close to his brother we spent way more time together, way more then with my boyfriend...

Over the years I fell in love with him, but nothing ever happend between us...

I broke up with my ex over 13 years ago and never talked to either one again... about 6 months ago I ran in to his brother and we have been talking sence... The problem is that I still feel the same way about him as I did 13 years ago. He has confessed to me his feelings.. This is not a childesh crush we are both in our late 30s and truly know how we feel... I am just confussed as to follow my heart that loves him or my brain that says his brother is my ex... Please give me some advice...

View related questions: broke up, crush, fell in love, my ex

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A female reader, when nothing goes right go left United Kingdom +, writes (1 March 2013):

when nothing goes right go left agony auntYou should go for it because for you too to still to have such strong

feelings for eachother then you must really have something there and if you and your ex are over eachother then it shouldn't be a problem and even if he is weird about it at first then as long as you both love eachother and dont let others views get in the way then your be fine and

he should get use to it.

Hope rhis helps.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (28 February 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI'm with K_c_100 and can't improve on her advice.

It's 13 years.... you are not children...

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A female reader, k_c100 United Kingdom +, writes (28 February 2013):

k_c100 agony auntWell normally the answer would be to stay away as it is too complicated when there is an ex involved, however this was over 13 years ago so I'm actually inclined to say go for it!

I think you need a good face to face chat with the little brother first, discussing the situation. I presume you are not in touch with the ex, so only the younger brother will have the relationship with your ex so he is the best person to ask what your ex will think if you were dating. I'm sure the younger brother wont want to damage his relationship with his brother, so you are going to have to tread carefully.

I'd as the younger brother what he thinks your ex will feel about the situation, and also ask him to speak to your ex and be honest about the feelings you have for each other. Your ex needs to know before you even start anything, because if he is not ok with it then you wont be able to continue.

So speak to the younger brother first, get him to speak to his brother - and take it from there. Ok its not an ideal situation, but the feelings you have for him have lasted a very long time so I'd be inclined to fight for this one if I were you.

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