A
male
age
36-40,
*zinaland
writes:my girlfriend and i have been in a relationship for two years now. Last month we welcomed our baby boy on earth. I am 23 years and am doing my second simester at college.my main problem is that my ''inlaws'' and the whole of my girlfriends family take me 4 granted. I dont get any respect from them they see me as this unemployed young guy who happened to impregnant their daughter such they are even ashamed to introduce me as the young boys dad. The other kids of the family know that am just a family friend.I love them so much and i would love that things work between us.please help me because each day they talk to me a part of me dies,i just keep showing up for the sake of my child...what can i do so that they can see the bright side of methanks Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (1 June 2014):
 A "relationship" isn't a "marriage" or a "family". YouWish is correct. YOU are failing to be a "participator".... and are, in fact, still just the guy who knocked up this girl.
Figure it out.... you aren't entitled to the respect of a Father - or an "in law" - until you step up and take those mantels....
Good luck....
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2014): "I dont get any respect from them they see me as this unemployed young guy who happened to impregnant their daughter . . ."And what part of their perception is inaccurate? Are you NOT unemployed? Did you NOT impregnate their unmarried daughter? They don't respect you because you have given them no reason due to your irresponsibility; if you wanted their respect then you should have earned it by completing your education and establishing a career before marrying their daughter and having children in that order.If she were my daughter then I would certainly not be thrilled by the idea of her now being the mother of an out-of-wedlock infant by a college student baby daddy who is in no position to support either one of them, and I can't blame her parents for not wanting her younger siblings to get the impression that this is behavior to be encouraged or replicated. "what can i do so that they can see the bright side of me"Get married and get a job, not necessarily in that order, son they will be reassured that YOU will be supporting their grandchild and not them.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (1 June 2014):
 Culture is an issue here. They will see you this way until you marry her. As long as you don't, they will see you as someone who plowed their daughter and left her in hardship.
Focus on your future, and marry her, and take time. Your actions are the only thing here that will influence their regard. Be patient. Build your future. If you do right by her and her child, their regard for you will change.
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