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In a relationship but now interested in another..what to do?

Tagged as: Long distance, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 December 2008) 4 Answers - (Newest, 31 December 2008)
A female Singapore age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I'm attached in a year long relationship with my bf. But we have always been fighting and patching and i'm always dissatisfied with him cos he doesnt communicate with me at all. Even when we fight he just remains quiet while i do all the talking. But still we managed to stay together till a month ago he decided go overseas for work. It was his decision. He said it was because he wanted that job alot. But deep down inside me i was thinking maybe he just wanted to get away from me.

Still every single day he would contact me and we would have a little chat. Our chats didn't last long and there wasn't much for us to talk abt cos he is not the talkative type. And he mentioned that he don't like the feeling of me asking him what he did today. He feels being interrogated by me. Honestly speaking, my love for him diminished over this month. And recently i was assigned to a new driving instructor and his charisma and charm attracted me.

I was thinking that such things will not happen and my mind was set to complete my driving. So 2 days before Xmas i bought a box of sweet for him as a xmas present. I didn't know why i did that and i was not expecting anything to happen. He was surprised to receive it and that day we had some small chats during the lesson and exchanged numbers so he could teach me in private.

Within minutes of ending the lesson, he texted me asking me out on xmas day. I was shocked but at the same time happy and was smiling. I didn't know what my plan for xmas was so i told him i'll update him later. That afternoon i went back and was pretty bored but my whole mind was about him so i texted him asking what time his job ends. And he replied and one thing lead to another he asked me if i was free to meet him later. I suggested a movie as i wanted to avoid the silence since its our first date out of driving.

He came later then expected so we missed the movie but we went for supper and surprisingly we clicked on very well! we couldnt stop talking and the more we chatted the more interested i was about him. 5 days have passed and he confessed to me about his feelings. I've mixed feelings cos i didn't admit to him that i am attached and i'm sure he will be angry if i told him that now and that would ruin my lesson and the relationship we share all together...

I feel so comfortable with him and i can tell him anything and do anything with him. It's totally different from what i share with my current who is overseas now.

I don't know what i should do now...shd i confess and break up with my current to be with him? or shd i jus break up and be with him without telling him the truth... or should i stick to my current and stop being unfaithful...Help...

View related questions: exchanged numbers, text

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2008):

Fling or not, it's up to you to tell your current boyfriend or not. Just end the relationship. No one deserves to be cheated on. Your current relationship likely cannot be salvaged now. Gather up some courage and leave your current boyfriend. It will save you both trouble.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2008):

once a cheater, always a cheater.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for the advice...true i'm listing all the positive stuff abt the new guy...but i was thinking is all this a fling? he's not exactly the type of guy i can accept but there's something abt him that attracts me alot...

aren't i jus feeling lonely cos my bf is not ard?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2008):

I know what you're going through. You're with somebody whose sparks fade over time and now you found someone who makes you have that special feeling inside. I can tell you're looking for feedback in favor of this new guy because you only list the negative attributes of your current boyfriend.

Honestly 1 year isn't that long in a relationship, and if you don't see yourself with that person then don't postpone the inevitable, so just end it. End it before you act further with the new guy. You'll thank yourself later and prevent disastrous effects to your current boyfriend.

Good luck!

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