A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm in a happy relationship of only 2 months, the guy i'm with i can't fault. Just one problem,, i can't stop thinking about my ex. I split up with him over a year ago because of drug use but i totally fell in love with him. We were together for about 10 months. He wouldn't listen to me when i said i would leave him because of it then he was devestated when i did. About christmas time i met up with him and we just talked, he said he had stopped the drugs but i wasnt sure. He begged for me back but I said no, all i wanted to do is hold him in my arms. He is now with a new woman of about 5 months and i would feel devestated if he ended up staying with her over 10 months. I don't know whether i just want him in my life as just a friend or more. Were supposed to be just mates now but he said he doesnt want to see me incase his feelings come back or talk to me incase his new girlfriend doesn't like it. Advice please :)
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female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (15 August 2010):
 My husband is fond of saying "You have to look out for number one" I always thought it was a bit callous at times but he's right. That guy was looking out for number one now you have too.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks to eveyone who helped!
Got an update for you. The guy who i am with now i am not with anymore, he cheated on me and broke up with me over text! I couldn't believe it. I argued with him over it and he doesn't even seem bothered. He then later asked me if i was ok and of course i said that i was and he said he was glad. It devestated me! Just goes to show that you can never know a person no matter how nice they are to your face..
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum +, writes (6 August 2010):
I wouldn't try to be friends with him it never works. Make a complete break from him. If you are mean't to be with him he will come back to you when you both are in better places.
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A
female
reader, BluntLove  +, writes (5 August 2010):
Oh sweetie, I'm going to be blunt. You're obviously in no place to be in a relationship with either man at this point in your life. Think about your current boyfriend: would you be ok if he couldn't stop thinking about an ex girlfriend even if he was thinking of her as "mates"? No right? So the fact that you're thinking of your ex means you're never going to be 100% in this new relationship. You're never going to give it your all and it's not going to work out. Not unless you let go of your former love. You said you're happy and you can't fault the guy. Sometimes even with the best of guys, if our heart doesn't have any room for a new love, the relationship won't work out.
As far as you're ex, I'm proud of you for stepping away from the relationship and stood by your values. Since the guy has moved on, the only way that you will is if you step away and get some distance between the two of you. Your new boyfriend deserves that. Otherwise, he doesn't really stand a chance.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2010): i totally understand your situation as i have slightly going through same issue now. But however if the man you loved was happily taking drugs, he was selfish to do it. As well as harming himself he is always causing slight danger towards you. A man in love would consider you in his life as well and try and quite the drugs. Your relationship has now ended, and sadly to hear he has moved on and so have you. Love is a funny thing. But i understand you have feeling for him, but maybe its a situation where you should stay away from him for a while until you eventually move on. And then try rebuild a friendship, not a relationship. This is just my opinion i hope it helps. I send my love and i hope you move on better in your life and find the right guy 3
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