A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay well, my boyfriend and I have been together 4 years, best friends for 5. You could consider us married, although neither of us have an interest in it at the time...for a lot of reasons. I don't want to say I don't love him, but it's hard too with all the fighting. It's constant 24/7 over anything and everything and neither of us seem to be getting any better. If we break up, I will have no home and no place to go. and he will have to uplift all the roots he has been working to establish for me these past years. Our beautiful home together and well, everything. I couldnt imagine splitting the things we have because everything we got together...but i can't take the fighting anymore, sometimes it feels like a love hate relationship.
View related questions:
best friend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (25 July 2010):
 You know the only thing that's worse than being in a bad relationship is staying in it because you fear you will lose stuff. Why is the stuff more highly valued than happiness and senerity?
Your choice is simple stay and have nice stuff or leave and have peace and happiness in your life.
If you leave he has to pay you out half anyway so you can get your own place
A
female
reader, Oregongrl1 +, writes (25 July 2010):
Thats because it is a love hate relationship! well what you need to know is whats more important peace of mind and your life ahead of you and things that can always be replaced.
or the material things more important to you? or is that just an excuse in your mind! you don't really want to leave him and you dont know how to live with out him. those are the only questions you need to ask yourself!
Good Luck!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2010): Have you tried couples therapy or counseling? If either of you are religious, you can seek out inexpensive or free counseling through your church. Perhaps you need someone to examine the way you're fighting with each other to help you two develop communication skills that don't involve arguments.
It would be less than wonderful to break up with someone you've been with for so long, and yes, you'd be losing a lot of material things. But you'd also be gaining back your sanity by not being with someone with whom all you do is fight or being stressed out.
In the end, it's totally up to you. Do those material things outweigh your emotions? Do things make you happier, or would being in a friendlier, calmer relationship make you happier?
...............................
A
female
reader, girlygirl601 +, writes (25 July 2010):
Any relationship gets hard after about two of three years. The newness is worn off and things irritate you a lot more quickly. I think that if the both of you agree that you don't want to be apart, its a problem that can be fixed. Sometimes we hit bad spots in a relationship and we think the answer is breaking up when its not always the case. Its just that you have some problems to work out.
I've had a few long term relationships and around the 3 year mark, stuff starts to suck. I'm not saying that you guys don't, but having a life outside of the relationships does help. It makes you miss them more and it gives you more time to look at the things that really bother you, against the things that we tend to over react about.
Communication (when you aren't angry) does wonders. Its not easy but at this stage in your relationships, you guys are just learning a new stage in the relationship. You guys have to find a rhythm that works for the both of you.
True love is hard to find and if you love eachother, unless there is abuse or the bad outweighs the good, its definitely worth the effort.
Good luck to you!
...............................
|
