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I'm worried now that I've spent too much on my boyfriend for Xmas!

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Question - (21 December 2006) 4 Answers - (Newest, 21 December 2006)
A female age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hi. I bought my bf a really expensive gift this year and have been so excited about giving it to him for a few weeks now. We've been going out for almost a year and i decided that this gift would make him happy and i love him enough to spend the money on him. However, i get the feeling that he's not spending so much on me, and he didn't even know what to get me as he kept hinting to me about what i wanted for christmas. I'm starting to feel like maybe i spent too much and am worried how it will look when we do exchange gifts. I dont want to seem like the over eager gf who's trying too hard with an expensive gift. I hope im not coming across as shallow and selfish, but i just want our christmas to be perfect together and i want both of us to be happy. I know that christmas isn't about gifts and there shouldn't be a minimum to spend on someone you love anyway. Any thoughts?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2006):

I like doink.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2006):

A cliche I know, but it's the thought that counts. If your pressie cost a lot more, then that may be so but you bought it not for it's cost, you bought it because you knew he'd appreciate it. I am the same really, I love buying gifts that I know people would love and don't really care too much about the cost.

Also you guys have been together a year now so I highly doubt you'll come across as being an over-eager girlfriend! Maybe if you only knew each other for a few weeks or a couple of months. If I was in a relationship for a year, and was giving lines like "I don't know what to get you" only to find out my girlfriend had got me an amazing gift and I had got her something rubbish I would feel VERY BAD for not putting in as much care and consideration. You should feel good knowing what a lovely girlfriend you are for caring enough to get him something he is going to love. Have a great christmas =)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2006):

Why do people falsely believe that Christmas is about the value of the present which is in direct relation to the value of the person they are giving it to???

DOINK!

Just follow your heart babe. Give him the gift.

Don't worry about getting gloves or slippers. Most men havent' and idea what to get their women for Christmas and he could have been worried about the same thing and did not follow his heart; doubting in oneself is hell.

He'll probably feel bad and apologize and take you out to get you something that is more appropriate in your mind.

Really...you love him.

Don't let such a small matter kill your love and joy this Holiday Season.

Best Wishes.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2006):

You shouldn't be worried on such 'meaningless' thoughts. A gift shouldn't be measured on the price of the item, but the thought put into it, as corny as that may sound.

When a past companion got me an udder cup for Xmas and two packs of Bubble Joe bubblegum, I was flabbergasted how she even found an udder cup! She probably spent no more than $5 on it, but I'm sure it wasn't exactly easy to find. Even if it was, it was something uncanny and funky that I really liked.

Just as most of the gifts to my friends and my intimate companions... You see, I'm an artist and musician as well. I create music, burn it on CD, and design a professional looking cover for it, or when a friend told me about a very meaningful dream he had a year ago, I created a printed art piece that recreates that dream. So how do people put a price tag on things like that?

An ex companion would make an evening extra fancy for me, picnic dinner, candlelights, mini fireworks, and a ring made solely of vines. So how do you put a price tag on things like that? Another example would be something totally simple like a Port bottle cork form my favorite vineyard, a piece of tissue paper, some green sticky paper, all folded up and 'molded' into a rose with a single leaf, then placed under a bullet shaped glass case. If I have to put a money worth on it, it's probably worth a dime, but there was meaning to it.

Really, there is NO way you can be spending too much or too little, unless of course, he is a total bastard. [wink]

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