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I'm worried my boyfriend no longer fancies me

Tagged as: Pornography, Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 November 2015) 3 Answers - (Newest, 11 November 2015)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Ive been with my boyfriend over 2 years. Our sex life used to be great, every day at least its gradually reduced and is now at appauling once every 10 days ish.

Weve talked it over many times, he says i should initiate it more if i want it more but he would always initiate it so now i dont want to because i feel like he doesnt want me. He works from home and admits to watching porn and masturbating twice a day. This didnt use to bother me but now it does as hes clearly still horny but choses porn over myself.

Also ive really thin size 8, small boobs, little bum etc i quite like my figure but the porn he watches is of overweight women, big boobs and big bums.

Do i need to be worried that he no longer fancies me? He says he does and is very loving in other ways.

View related questions: boobs, horny, my figure, overweight, porn, sex life

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2015):

Of course it would make sense to initiate more if you want more sex, but that doesn't leave you feeling desired in the way you want, I would assume. If his porn use is getting in the way of your relationship, it shouldn't be all on you to try and rekindle his spark. People pander to men's ridiculous dependency on porn by saying "men are visual", "sometimes he'll be horny when you're not around", "it's just a primal urge", "sometimes sex is too much work", blah blah blah. I think that men are intelligent beings who can control their urges, but many choose not to. Women shouldn't be expected to make some great show of themselves to try and get the attention of their partner. He has a problem and should address it, with your support of course.

I think you should talk to him and tell him that having a mutually satisfying sex life is important to you and his porn habit is driving a wedge between you. He should at least reduce his porn use enough so that he can have sex with his real-life woman, and if he seems resistant to that notion he is probably addicted to porn and needs the help of a therapist.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2015):

I'm with flame

Initiate more ;)

Btw every 10 days::lucky you

Some of us its MONTHS

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A female reader, Pureflame  +, writes (9 November 2015):

Then you just need to initiate sex. You can't always expect him to approach you. What if you make him feel like You don't really want him. It's not a job. If you feel like it just go for it. Don't expect for someone else to do it for you. :)

Good Luck

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