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I'm worried I'll never find someone who wants to be with me.

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Question - (23 September 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 23 September 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, *yperbunny writes:

Dear Cupid

I split up with the love of my life 2 and half years ago. I'm now 22, nearly 23 and that was probably the hardedt thing in my life. We were only together a year and a half but he was my first love and I thought we would be together for ever.

I've been single ever since and I'm worried I'm never gona find someone who wants to be with me. I'm an attractive girl and have recently started modelling, but haven't managed to find anyone. I've had lots of flings but nothing more :(

Recently my ex has been in contact and told me that he regrets so badly splitting up with me. I realise now that he isnt the one for me, but I'm just so scared I'll be on my own for a long time. I was thinking just to start seeing him again for sex. I'll never get back with him, so why not? I'm just sick of being on my own! Help :S

xxx

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A female reader, meg21co United States +, writes (23 September 2009):

You're still hurt so the worst thing to do is see him for sex! Actually, even if you're over him, don't sleep with him, no matter how tempting or if the memories you still have are so strong. It's okay to be friends but tell him straight that that's it: just friends (with no variations on the word)!

I know it's really cheesy but it's true that there's someone out there for everybody. I am in my 20s and am still looking for my guy. He won't seem perfect to you and your destined lover may not be perfect to me, but as long as we see what we like and understand what we don't like, it'll be a long lasting thing.

Don't fall in love with guys at your workplace either. Never "shit where you eat" as in if he turns out to be a total asshole and you break it off, he may use his hate and knowing of your private life to his advantage. Not all men are evil, but I've seen a coworker of mine lose her job because she was known so well throughout the workplace as the company whore. It's okay if he's in the same profession, just in a different building!

Now is the time for you to be celebrating being single. Did you feel any insecurities during your relationship? Perfect time to work on it. Meditate, do a little introspection, figure out what you're going to do for the better and what you want him to be like. Remember not to make your outline of a guy too strict because that means you'll never find him. Sometimes you have to break your own rules but be sure to know what you don't want because if you just go crazy with anyone, they may turn out to be yet another heart breaker. However, never try to change a man! They hate it because everyone wants to be themselves!

No matter how you look, you are beautiful. When you believe that and feel good about yourself, you become beautiful to everyone. Show off your good looks and that gorgeous smile! Guys like confident women who know exactly what they want in life. Don't forget to do some light flirting too!

Good luck in your love life!

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (23 September 2009):

No, no, no. Don't go back to your ex. That would be unfair to him if you used him for sex and he wanted more. He's not the guy for you, you said it yourself. Leave him firmly in the past. You're modelling, you're attractive, so focus just on that and get your self esteem back! You're still young, so you've got time to find and date teh right guy. Also, stop with the flings. They're not having a good effect on you and you'll feel worse. It's the bad guys that can sense women who are feeling alone and they prey on them. You will find the right guy. Just take your time and always have respect for yourself. Hold your head high. x

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A male reader, StudentOfLife Canada +, writes (23 September 2009):

StudentOfLife agony auntWhat are your beliefs? Do you have fate?

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