A
female
age
26-29,
*sILoveYou
writes:I'm in love with my teacher who is of the same sex and 15 years older than me. She pays alot of attention to me during school hours and outside school hours. She winks at me and grins at me alot and she talks to me in a different voice compared to other students. She calls me by my nickname and holds the door open for me every time i walk out the room. Is she in love with me?? If not, i think i should fall out of love cause me mum isn't very happy about her daughter being a lesbian.....What should i do?
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female
reader, PsILoveYou +, writes (12 January 2011):
PsILoveYou is verified as being by the original poster of the question I never did :(
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2011): so what happened when you went for coffee?
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A
female
reader, Drat001 +, writes (31 December 2010):
LOL. It only took a few minutes to type. I play piano, so I type really fast...my brain has trouble keeping up some times.I'm glad I could help. Email me if there's anything else I can do.
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A
female
reader, PsILoveYou +, writes (31 December 2010):
PsILoveYou is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAhhhh, good idea! Thank you sooooooo much!!! Thank you!! Where did you get all the time to type all of the info? Wow, you're like, Superwoman or something :) THANKS!!
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A
female
reader, Drat001 +, writes (30 December 2010):
Good point. If you're worried about her calling your parents about having a crush on a teacher, just say that it's on "someone at school who's a bit older." Remember, start off vague, and watch how she reacts---look at her body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. Someone who fancy someone else, when confronted about it, even if by round-about means, tend to get a bit flustered. The situation, if she does like you, when you talk with her, it might seem awkward. That's because situations like that always are. Love doesn't happen like in the movies, where you make eye contact one moment, and the next you're in bed or exchanging vows. It starts out awkward, because it's two people trying to figure out what the other's intentions are. So, if she likes you, and you like her, if it seems awkward when she's trying to explain her feelings/thoughts, that's good. It's fairly obvious that she wanted to make the first move, but when you shot her down, it might have sent her a mixed signal. So, play it cool. Do like I said in the last post, and try to follow it as closely as you can, as far as not letting on right away that you have a crush on her, or that you have a crush on a female teacher, or even a teacher. One of the things about building a relationship is learning to become comfortable with your partner and their personality and their wants and their issues and their secrets. So, don't just dump everything out in her lap. Each time you talk with her about this, reveal just a little bit more. Each time you leave her, until you find out 100% that she likes you or 100% that she doesn't, make sure you leave her with a little bit more information, but (to paraphrase the old show-biz saying) "leave her hungry for more."Be sure to keep us up-dated on what you find out.
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A
female
reader, PsILoveYou +, writes (29 December 2010):
PsILoveYou is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much Drat001!!! I am going to try that when school starts! Thank you! But I'm worried she'll call my parents in to have a talk if I tell her I have a crush on a teacher....And my mum has something against her for some reason.. Thanks you SSSOOO MUCH!!
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A
female
reader, Drat001 +, writes (29 December 2010):
You should talk with her, alone but not in a place where you're completely isolated, like after class, and ask her for some advice. Tell her that there's a teacher you might have a crush on and that this teacher (don't use any words to say the gender of this hypothetical teacher) might like you back, and since you respect her and like her as a friend, ask her what she thinks you should do. When you talk to her, pay careful attention to her body language. If she starts to blush or act nervous, looks down, or stutter in her response, then it's highly likely that she likes you. If she stands straight up, looks you in the eye with forcefulness, and in a calm voice tells you that you should see a counselor or asks this teacher's name, or such, then you know she's not interested in you that way.
If her response leads you to believe more that she is interested in you, and asks who the teacher is, then don't say a name, but drop that it's a woman teacher. If she starts to act nervous again, OR if she touches your arm softly OR if she starts to play with her hair OR touches the side of her face, then it's almost certain that she likes you. At this point, don't tell her that she is the person you're talking about. Make up some excuse that you need to leave (just got a text telling you to meet someone, or something). It's important you don't directly tell her that she is the person you're talking about before you leave. But, as you are leaving, just before you leave the room, quickly turn and look at her. If she is looking at you and is smiling. It's about a 99% chance she's interested. If she is looking at you and smiling, look right at her eyes, smile and wink just a little bit.
If she hasn't made it clear that she's not interested in you that way, the next time you see her, that is when you will find out for sure if she likes you. If she still treats you with the same warmth and extra-friendliness as before, or treats you even more-extra-special, then it's 99.999999999% likely she likes you. Go talk with her again in the same or similar setting as your last private conversation. This time ask her what she thinks you should do about your hypothetical situation, and this time say something like, "I've never felt like this about anyone before." If she then tries to talk you out of telling anything more about it, and tells you things like, "We all get confused," or "These feeling are natural, but you shouldn't act on them" then whatever you do, DON'T tell her that it's her you're talking about. However, if she says something like, "it's OK to have these feelings but you have to be careful who knows about them" then, yes, she likes you. The way to tell is, if she doesn't like you that way, she'll try to tell you that you're just confused, and this is part of growing up. If she does like you, she won't likely come right out and tell you to act on those feelings, but she will not discourage you from doing that. At this point, make up another excuse to leave. Do the same as before, before you go out, turn and wink/smile.
On the third time you talk to her in private, tell her that you've thought about it are pretty sure that this hypothetical teacher does like you. Then tell her, "I think you know who it is." If she says it is her, then tell her something like, "You're just so pretty and so nice. If it was you I'd be the luckiest girl..." This is the make or break moment above all else. If she isn't interested in being more than a friend to you, then she will make it clear that she just likes you as a friend. If she does like you, I gurantee you that she'll tell you at this point.
Here's the most important part of the whole thing though: if she does say that she likes you, do not, and I repeat, DO NOT do anything sexual with her, kissing, touching, anything, until you turn 16. In the UK, you can have a relationship with her after you turn 16, but tell her that because you love her, you want to wait until you're old enough before you actually kiss or anything, because you don't want her to get into trouble. If she loves you, and if she's smart, she'll agree.
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A
female
reader, Drat001 +, writes (29 December 2010):
You should talk with her, alone but not in a place where you're completely isolated, like after class, and ask her for some advice. Tell her that there's a teacher you might have a crush on and that this teacher (don't use any words to say the gender of this hypothetical teacher) might like you back, and since you respect her and like her as a friend, ask her what she thinks you should do. When you talk to her, pay careful attention to her body language. If she starts to blush or act nervous, looks down, or stutter in her response, then it's highly likely that she likes you. If she stands straight up, looks you in the eye with forcefulness, and in a calm voice tells you that you should see a counselor or asks this teacher's name, or such, then you know she's not interested in you that way.If her response leads you to believe more that she is interested in you, and asks who the teacher is, then don't say a name, but drop that it's a woman teacher. If she starts to act nervous again, OR if she touches your arm softly OR if she starts to play with her hair OR touches the side of her face, then it's almost certain that she likes you. At this point, don't tell her that she is the person you're talking about. Make up some excuse that you need to leave (just got a text telling you to meet someone, or something). It's important you don't directly tell her that she is the person you're talking about before you leave. But, as you are leaving, just before you leave the room, quickly turn and look at her. If she is looking at you and is smiling. It's about a 99% chance she's interested. If she is looking at you and smiling, look right at her eyes, smile and wink just a little bit.If she hasn't made it clear that she's not interested in you that way, the next time you see her, that is when you will find out for sure if she likes you. If she still treats you with the same warmth and extra-friendliness as before, or treats you even more-extra-special, then it's 99.999999999% likely she likes you. Go talk with her again in the same or similar setting as your last private conversation. This time ask her what she thinks you should do about your hypothetical situation, and this time say something like, "I've never felt like this about anyone before." If she then tries to talk you out of telling anything more about it, and tells you things like, "We all get confused," or "These feeling are natural, but you shouldn't act on them" then whatever you do, DON'T tell her that it's her you're talking about. However, if she says something like, "it's OK to have these feelings but you have to be careful who knows about them" then, yes, she likes you. The way to tell is, if she doesn't like you that way, she'll try to tell you that you're just confused, and this is part of growing up. If she does like you, she won't likely come right out and tell you to act on those feelings, but she will not discourage you from doing that. At this point, make up another excuse to leave. Do the same as before, before you go out, turn and wink/smile.On the third time you talk to her in private, tell her that you've thought about it are pretty sure that this hypothetical teacher does like you. Then tell her, "I think you know who it is." If she says it is her, then tell her something like, "You're just so pretty and so nice. If it was you I'd be the luckiest girl..." This is the make or break moment above all else. If she isn't interested in being more than a friend to you, then she will make it clear that she just likes you as a friend. If she does like you, I gurantee you that she'll tell you at this point.Here's the most important part of the whole thing though: if she does say that she likes you, do not, and I repeat, DO NOT do anything sexual with her, kissing, touching, anything, until you turn 16. In the UK, you can have a relationship with her after you turn 16, but tell her that because you love her, you want to wait until you're old enough before you actually kiss or anything, because you don't want her to get into trouble. If she loves you, and if she's smart, she'll agree.
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A
female
reader, PsILoveYou +, writes (5 December 2010):
PsILoveYou is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI dont know whether she does like me or not... But i'm head over heels for her!!!
We never actually had the talk, so i don't really know why she initially asked me out for coffee....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2010): what ended up happening, does she like you?
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A
female
reader, PsILoveYou +, writes (3 December 2010):
PsILoveYou is verified as being by the original poster of the questionEverything worked out fine, i rejected her offer in a nice way :) Thanks guys!!!
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A
female
reader, Battista +, writes (30 November 2010):
Thanks for the follow-up OP.
I'm sure if she really needs a one to one chat with you she could do it at school.
You're doing the right thing! Good luck.
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A
female
reader, PsILoveYou +, writes (30 November 2010):
PsILoveYou is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOkie dokie, thanks :) I'll keep my distance!
It's pretty akward too, I guess, because she asked me go coffee and have a 'one-to-one' chat..... Anyways, I'll tell her tomorrow :) Thank you!!
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A
female
reader, Battista +, writes (29 November 2010):
I don't think it proves she has feelings for you. Plus, I would take what your friends have to say with a pinch of salt because in my experience some friends just like to stir things up a little bit.
I don't think you'll break her heart if you tell her you can't make it for coffee. Just say you already have plans- you don't need to explain yourself, although I appreciate you might feel a bit nervous. It's non of her business why you can't make it.
I do find it odd that she's asked you out for lunch, but, I think if you just try and avoid her that might be the best course of action for now. Is it just you who is going for lunch? Or some of your class as well? I have had lunch with my teachers lots of times, but when I was a bit older than you on the whole, and often with others there.
Just try and ignore her and stop reading into the things she does, how she looks at you, etc (obviously listen to the lessons though). You know it's the right thing to do.
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A
female
reader, PsILoveYou +, writes (29 November 2010):
PsILoveYou is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOkie, thanks, I'll tell her tomorrow! Thanks everyone!!
But today during our lesson I noticed her staring at me. Even my friends says that she was looking at me the whole time!! And when I look back at her she pretends to look somewhere else. Does that prove any feelings she has for me?
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (28 November 2010):
 Just politely decline, tell her you and your mom are going shopping that day. Make up an excuse. You're already busy..she's your teacher, she knows very well that she shouldn't be asking you to "hang out" outside of school.
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A
female
reader, PsILoveYou +, writes (28 November 2010):
PsILoveYou is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk, how can i tell her that i reject her offer without breaking her heart or something?
Sorry if i'm asking for toooo much help :(
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (28 November 2010):
No, you're not allowed to hang out with teachers outside of school. They are not like your friends, they are adults that are responsible for teaching you. Actually, her asking you to get coffee is inappropriate and against school policy. She could be fired if someone saw the two of you. I suggest you don't go.
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A
female
reader, PsILoveYou +, writes (28 November 2010):
PsILoveYou is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBut i'm head over heels for her!!!!! She has such a great personality and she is way prettier than anyone i see (in my opinion). She gonna treat me for lunch at the coffee shop next to her home and opposite school.... Is that normal??
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (27 November 2010):
Just start looking at our boys, checking them out..seeing if any of them are worth talking to. By focusing on that you'll soon get over your little crush on your teacher.
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A
female
reader, PsILoveYou +, writes (27 November 2010):
PsILoveYou is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice :) Hahaha, yeah, she is paid to be nice to me!! I'll try and flirt with guys :) But is there any tips you know bout fallin out of love??
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2010): She's just being friendly. At your age its natural to get crushs on all sorts of people. Its just part of growing up. Don't worry any further about your teacher. Because you think you love her you are mistaking friendliness for something more.
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A
female
reader, starfairy +, writes (27 November 2010):
 No, she's not in love with you. She's your teacher, and would get fired if you start spreading rumours. She would also be classed as a paedophile, so no, I don't think she is in love with you.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (27 November 2010):
Sorry but just because you think she favors you doesn't mean she's in love with you. She's your teacher, she's paid to be nice to you.
You should probably fall out of love, because one you're much too young to conclude you're a lesbian plus it doesn't sound like you have dated any boys your age if you're already going for your teacher.
Why not try to talk and flirt with boys your age to see where that takes you?
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