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I'm wondering if I could be gay?

Tagged as: Gay relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 January 2011) 6 Answers - (Newest, 19 January 2011)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

i'm a male in my twenties and i'm confused about my sexuality, i think i might be gay. i started being confused about it within the past 2 years but before that i was sure i was straight but since then i have had dreams of being with another man and i sometimes fantasize about men while masturbating. i have never had a dream with a girl in it and the relationship with my last girlfriend which was around 4-5 years ago didn't feel right, at first i was attracted to her but it quickly went away and i felt stuck or obligated to be with her. i have looked at pics of both men and women and while women used to turn me on it doesn't much or at all now, the pictures of men sometimes turn me on and i get erections.recently i have been thinking of experimenting and kissing men which also turns me on. i have no problem with homosexuality but being gay is not something i'm looking to be. so am i gay?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2011):

Same guy here who asked the question, Yes the thought of having sex with another man does turn me on and i would be willing to have a relationship with a man, I recently often think about it. While its not something i want but if i turn out to be gay then its fine, Though i'm still not sure what i am. In the past i have kissed a male and female, I kissed two my friends out of curiosity and i liked it and when i kissed my girlfriend at the time it was because my friends were telling and daring me to, That kiss was a little awkward.

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A male reader, crazybeast United Kingdom +, writes (19 January 2011):

crazybeast agony auntSexuality is one of those things that can take time to find out. Most find out when they're in there teen's like myself but some don't find out untill there 20's and later.

You said that you have fantasies about kissing men? This can be really normal in men, it can be brought on by hormonal imbalance, sleep deprovation and stress.

There is a chance that you could be infact gay but the chances of that are small in my opion.

Bisexuality could be another possibility but I would probobly label you as just curious.

Does the thought of gay sex turn you on? Does the look of a man turn you on? Would you be willing to commit to a man instead of a women?

Any way this turns out it doesn't really matter, lables are there for other peoples opinions not your own so dont get to stressed or troubled by it.

Xx Beasty xX

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A male reader, AvgGuy1 United States +, writes (19 January 2011):

AvgGuy1 agony aunt

See my response(s) to an almost identical question: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-get-aroused-only-by-guys-i-have.html

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A female reader, AmyN United States +, writes (19 January 2011):

You very well could be. You could also be bisexual, or perhaps you are just curious. The only way to know for sure is to search yourself for answers. Try not to get hung up on labeling yourself hun. Do what feels right to you. Perhaps you should try to discreetly have a date with a guy if you feel comfortable with the idea. I say discreetly because if it turns out that you are not gay you won't have to worry about lugging around a title given to you by others that is not accurate. Whatever you decide and makes you happy is what you should do but the only way to know for sure is to find out for yourself.

I wish you luck and happiness 3

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2011):

you could be or you could be bi. i wasnt sure of my sexually until i tried a relationship with another girl. there is nothing wrong with being gay. so if you are then you are. i love gay guys!! they are so much fun.

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A female reader, Fabulosa United States +, writes (19 January 2011):

Fabulosa agony auntDon't label your self. It may be a phase or may not. Untill you experiment you wont know. You may try it and reside its not for you and your straight. Or you may like it and still like girls. Its not about labels its about doing what feels right and happiness.

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