A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Still in love with friend's ex husbandRE: Still thinking about friend's husband (July 29 and March 28).My husband and I separated about 6 months ago. I had a brief, discreet fling with my friend's ex husband a couple of months later. It felt too soon so we agreed to just be friends until it felt right. He was dating other girls but we were still talking nearly everyday on the phone and meeting up every couple of weeks secretly for a drink etc. I am still in the process of formalising my separation and it wouldn't be right for us to be seen publicly together. He is no longer comfortable with the secrecy of our situation and has decided to become exclusive with another girl. He wants to stay friends and is still happy to talk to me over the phone but not to see each other 'one on one'. I understand us not being together but I feel hurt and jealous because he is seeing somebody else. He knows how I feel but he says that's the way it has to be for now! Should I stay friends and hope one day we will be together? I haven't been talking to him as much over the past week. I'm not sure I can stay his friend whilst he's with another girl. I know I still love him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2007): Just let him go. It wasn't meant to be or he wouldn't of let you go. I went through something quite similar a long time ago and he just wouldn't let go of me. We could go public for a long time because of the stir it would of caused by we never gave up on each other. He never went out with someone else, nor me. We stayed together 11 years and then just drifted apart. It's a shame that it has happened to you. Just put it down to experience and move on. Don't keep in touch with him, that isn't fair on his new gf.
Take care
x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2007): Not knowing the background of this whole fling thing, it sounds to me that this is just an excuse of sorts to get out of having a relationship with you.
In my mind, I think you were both lonely and in desperate need of some human affection and companionship...Due to the fact that you had known each other before when you were both married to others, you both felt comfortable taking this next step. However, because of the past history your relationship becomes complicated and embarassing perhaps to announce to the world and bring it out in the light of day for others to scrutinize.
It is a shame sometimes that we live with such self imposed restrictions, but what are you going to do about them? You can't tell someone else how they should feel about it.
He is with someone else and it is easier for him to do that, so let him go....find someone who you can start fresh with, no baggage, and you will be a whole lot happier in the end.
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