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I'm very sexually inexperienced..and am afraid my bf will get bored with me quickly, as a result.

Tagged as: Sex, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 April 2006) 3 Answers - (Newest, 1 May 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

Im with my boyfriend (29) for 7 months, im 23 and had never slept with anyone before him(no pressure was put on me to sleep with him,very sweet guy), i never mentioned this to him as the only reason i was still a virgin was because i was never tempted by any other boyfriend and imagine that a one night stand would leave me feeling used, i was waiting for someone special not marraige. Since im so inexperienced im worried he'l get bored,as hes older and more experienced, i dont know how to give a blow job and doubt what i do with my hand is up to much. im willing to learn with him as my teacher but have no idea how to bring up this topic. please help!!! answers from anyone and especially men of similar age as my boyfriend would be appreciated!!

View related questions: blow-job, my teacher, one night stand, still a virgin

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A female reader, DrPsych United Kingdom +, writes (1 May 2006):

DrPsych agony auntIt is ok not to have had sex at 23 (I waited too and didn't regret it). Basically there is no such thing as an expert in sex because every man and woman is different in terms of what turns them on etc. The key to a good sex life is a little general education (you can find lots of non-porn websites that give you the basics), and a lot of communication between partners - if you are going to do the most intimate thing partners can do physically, then you need to exchange ideas too as well as trial and error experimenting in the bedroom. This man should feel so special that you waited for him and he is honestly not going to care about your inexperience if he is a gent (and he sounds nice). I have heard all sorts of stories about practising oral sex on cucumbers and strange vegetable training but there is no real substitute for the real thing and lets face it, most men love talking about sex if you keep it funny and not too serious then he is going to love the chance to talk about his best friend...his penis :-) You got to remember that you have been his GF for 7 months and he hasn't got bored of a platonic relationship...so adding a sexual element won't scare him off...he will see it as the icing on the cake.

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A female reader, PrunellaGringepith +, writes (26 April 2006):

PrunellaGringepith agony auntAny man worth his salt would love to have a woman who is ready and willing to learn like you are. All you have to do is ask. Next time you are getting it on just pause and ask him 'what would you like me to do?' As you are trying new things out don't be afraid to ask 'do you like this?' 'does this feel good?'

A friend of mine is in the process of writing a sex manual, and has a blog with some great sex techniques on it. You can check it out here: http://www.cuntinglinguist.blogspot.com/

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2006):

[sigh] You just have to speak up. If he is sexually willing, then I bet he is also very sexually willing to communicate with you. You say he's a sweet guy, then that's the key advantage. Talk with the guy, tell him your worries, etc. He'll appreciate it and probably try to help you pleasure him and vice versa.

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