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I'm utterly heartbroken! He left me and says I messed it up

Tagged as: Breaking up, Love stories, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 June 2009) 1 Answers - (Newest, 8 June 2009)
A female age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I'm utterly heartbroken. My ex left me and to top it off, he's still contacting me only to tell me how I messed everything up and how I never showed him I loved him enough! I still love him, but being with him is like walking on eggshells, honestly. He had issues with my past, and used it for EVERYTHING when he was upset. If I didn't do something the way he expected he'd start telling me how I never treated my "exes" (I never had a boyfriend, those were just flings) so badly.

But what the hell does he know? Unfortunately, I love him deeply because he's just like me, he shares all my interests. Plus this town is so small, I can't move out, and I'll run into him everywhere, and other guys here are just crap. Plus I don't want to fall in love again. This was my first boyfriend, we were together for 3 years. How can I move on from this horrible thing? i feel like a shitty girlfriend, so, so awful, so ugly and like a bad person. I know he's messed up, but that doesn't stop the pain that I love him, and he blames me for his "suffering". I was his first serious giorlfriend, and I will always be the witch who ruined his life, blah, blah... when I was not that awful!

I hate feeling like this!!!

View related questions: heartbroken, move on, my ex, never had a boyfriend

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2009):

Honey it will pass, and I dont know if you're realising it, but he is abusing you, he is having a power trip on you to make himself feel better. YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS...!!!!! I know you have been together for 3 years, but after you cool down a bit, cast your eye back: was it a happy fulfilling realtionship or were you always having to back down and submit to his ways? DId your needs ever counted when the going got tough int he past? I have a suspicion that they didn;t, but you know best..

Trust issues are hard to heal, and you don;t deserve this, it's not your fault! He will be the same tormented little freak with every girl that comes his way, since he is projecting all his cr_p on the ones that care about him. This sounds like a little boy.. I hope after the shock goes, that you will get in touch with yourself and your strenght, and realise that this is far from the happiness that you deserve. What was the reason for dumping you he mihgt come back begging for forgiveness, or he might not but he wasn't man enough to break up the mature way; He needed to stump on your and put you down. I hope you will stop feeling hurt by his behaviour and instead get angry , very angry at the jerk, and then use that energy to become the best you can be.

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